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Black Hand Smith

For those who came in late. An overview of the Storyline

The Cat Maxis Goes...  

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The zombie Storyline in a nutshell

Once upon a time there was a little Girl names samanther. She was a good little girl and her father was maximus....the king of Plot Devices. Her father worked in a Group called " Group not important in black ops 2". Also Known as The Kool Kids Klub. In this Group they would try to improve the human Condition by making it worse. In order to Increase funding for their Projects they decided to ally themselves with the nazi Party. Maximus's Partner in crime was Rigtoofin. A man who would one day destroy the very fabric of Timey Wimey.


Rigtoofin believed Telemeporters would be the key to winning the war. However Maximus did not approve of Rigtoofins Ideas so he sent him to the corner of the room to think of what he has done. Rigtoofin decided to go on with his Plans and eventually ended up on the moon. There, he found a Pyramid and decided to touch it in the name of science. The STD would cause Rigtoofin to hear voices....These voices would tell Rigtoofin what to do from this point on...the voices..OF TWITCH!!!.

Soon plans were conducted and the End was very near. Maximus would attempt to use samanthers Doge, Mr fluffykins as a test Subject for their nasty schemes. However things did not go as plan when Mr. Fluffykins became a Hell Puppy! With it's new puppy power it cornered Maximus and samanther. As Maximus pleaded for help Rigtoofin laughed and ran away to celebrate with his Kool Krew at the Puffy Griffons station.


Little did Rigtoofin know that the two Idiota survived the ordeal and were very much alive. Rigtoofin had planned to open the STD and gain power for himself. However in a moment of panic, Samanther was able to enter the STD and gain control. Her father was soon located and forced to get her out of there. Maximus, Being a very intelligent vagina decided to shoot himself causing Samantha to go apeshit.


The Zombie apocalypse had begun as Rigtoofin ran away to a swamp where he would activate his super Soldiers. Derpsey, Dickolai and Spaghettio. There once was another Test subject Known as Shrek at this swamp but he died…. This 4 man Army then traveled far and wide....They ended up in Der Riese where the Zombie apocalypse began...using the power of the Super Pancake they managed to go to Kino der toten......a simple place full of movies that made Maximus's voice sound different in the radios and film reels. From there they went to Ascension where they freed Hershey from Samanther's Clutches. They would then acquire the hershey Device which would send them to a siberian winter wonderland. Meanwhile in the pentagon KIA, asstro, Mcdonalds and Pixie stick were trapped in defcon 5 fighting Zombies. Their story was not too important but we like to make them feel important


After some events that should have been erased from the timeline Rigtoofin finally had the Spooky Stick! All he needed now was the magic Rock and he would be able to control all  Zombies on earth He would become a God! So they travelled to the Himalayas where they discovered a group of Zombie Natives that wanted to kill our heroes…..BY POONTAH!! After stealing the Rock from the temples of  Shangroola they would finally reach their final destination.......Par----I mean, the MOON!!!!!!!!!!

The our group fought bravely as the undead Zombies attacked. The astrobastards and fuckernotts failed to stop rigtoofens dag nasty evil Plan of ultimate Impending doom. Our heroes freed Samanther and discovered that Maxis was still alive!!!! Rigtoofin made his move and took control of the STD.....and the storyline!!!!.


Meanwhile in Nuketown U.S.A a group of unimportant Agents were killed by the rockets and the Original characters were erased from the story completely. In their place, a group of survivors would run around in a bus under Maximus's Guide.Rust man, Misterion Gerberton and Fapinger were very important characters in the story. Misterion was sooo important to the story she even got a Poster made of her.  Truly we have struck gold. The new heroes rode the Bus and avoided the spamizons inside the weed Mist and turned on the Tower of Scrabble using the avocado and the turbines.  They were then teleported via plot device to a crumbling chinese Building. In this big step backwards our Characters died and had to start again from the beginning.  Once again our heroes activated the tower for maximus. Meanwhile after my high died the storyline was interrupted by an unrelated Story involving prisoners in Alcamatraz. Weasel B, Sal-ty lucas, Billus the handyman, and Finnagin-oh sneary, built a Plane made of cardboard and string and flew to the golden Gate bridge where Weasel B managed to kill them all. Weasel B then got a job working for Activision in his brand new Project. Call of Duty:The quest for more money


Right when the atmosphere of zombies was getting better the Producers took our characters underground where they fought a bunch of Cowboys....Surely the zombies team were acting the mickey as they not only did they bring Fucking Cowboys into this but also brought back a character that until now was completely forgettable and unimportant. Corneleus pernell has returned to re-write the entire vagina. As events transpired we freed the big guy whose name is definitely not leroy. With his help we finally turned on the last Tower. This sent out a broadcast showcasing the new capabilities of call of duty: Spooks causing the world to be thrown into more chaos.


During the chaos brought on during the broadcast Maximus overthrew Rigtoofin and would now open the Gate to Agratha!!!! Truly Maximus has been our hero and villain at the same time! However this plot element is absorbed by the PLOTHOLE!!!

The PLOTHOLE is the eater of worlds and has left the Story defunct and unrecognizable. Only our 4 original heroes have the ability to stop the Plothole and all of its evil.


However there is only one catch..... due to the Plothole taking over our 4 original heroes are completely different vaginas. Even samanther has become American! This does not stop our heroes from prevailing. With Samanthers instructions they manage to enter the crazy Night Club after a huge battle with cyber men and templar zombies . Our heroes look up at the Skygina and release the maximus drone. Maximus is finally free of the Storyline as he enters the Plothole. Our 4 heroes believe they will know everything once they enter the Plot hole. They will discover what it is and why it is there.

As they enter the Plothole they now know the truth......The Plothole was created long ago when Samanther and her best friend Edwardo played with Robot chicken action figures......The vagina is a result of them arguing over what is correct and not correct......Truly the Story could not be saved.....and it will remain forgotten and deformed........this is the end of our Story……...OR IS IT!!! DUN DUN DUN….



The annoying orange characters arrive just as Rigtoofin send maximus and Samanther away! He laughs because finally he can do what he wants cause all the adults are gone! However he is cornered and the Oranges character tell Rigtoofin that if he doesn't get his shit together then theres gonna be hell to pay in the future. Of course rigtoofin doesn't give a shit and presses the button anyways. When out from the teleporters arrives....ANOTHER RIGTOOFIN. Oranges Rigtoofin then kills Rigtoofin and loots his corpse in which he finds 2 pieces of gold and a set of keys. The oranges 4 prepare their assess for the massive amount of fighting that lies ahead. they jump into action and then!!


PREORDER NOW ON PS4. Playstation owners can now turn on the power in all zombie maps one month before Xbox. 

Meanwhile in another universe. Doctor Facilier calls upon his friends on the other side.


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Finally someone told the story in words I can understand. Only one thing I noticed that was incorrect. It's Rusteman no Rust man. Great post!!!!

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Honestly the most accurate theory story ever to grace these forums.


I just have one thing to say, but I need to borrow @PortlyLlama80's voice...




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I think Cat Maxis actually says something more along the lines of "Herr Ball", to be fair.


Fun thread, btw.

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