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Electric Jesus

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Electric Jesus last won the day on April 18

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  1. I kinda feel like arguing a case for Kino. Der Riese gave us PaP, and with that it gave us the first PaP quest. So, in most zombies maps, accessing Pack a Punch done in one of two ways. Either you perform a series of steps that permanently unlock a new Pack area (ascension, shadows, origins) or you have to perform the same mini-ritual to re-access pack for a limited time each use (kino, moon, five). Der Riese represents the former, as you open up the whole map and teleport, then PaP is open for good. On kino though, teleporting is free, but you can only access Pack for 30 seconds at a time. So, you can definitely prefer one of these over the other, and I can see the arguments for both. The polar extremes would probably be Shadows on one end, where you’ve got to endure a lot of scavenging and rituals to get to Pack but then it’s left open permanently, and on the other end maybe Buried, where you have to perform the same small-ish ritual each time you wanna pack. (Running through ghost-house.) as a general matter, the style where it remains open permanently is probably way more convenient, particularly for high-round players, because in a long long game, that relatively lengthy PaP ritual isn’t as large of a percentage of your time spent playing. Alternately, if a new player hops on shadows, grinds out PaP rituals, and then only survives to round 15, they spent a larger total percentage of their playtime “getting set up,” So they might have a more sour opinion of the map overall. I think I prefer this style of PaP way more than the temporary-access way as a general rule though. HOWEVER, I gotta say, the teleporter / projection room on kino is one of the most iconic experiences. No other map has such a distinct “heart of the map” to me. So so so many rounds were started off with the entire squad stacked in the teleporter getting ready to go. It sorta invariably forced teamwork and coordination. Throwing grenades from the projector room is awesome. In effect, it’s the only map I can think of where Pack a Punching your gun is literally fun every time you do it. I think Kino has the perfect Pack mechanics, keeping you engaged and not taking PaP for granted, but still with easy / “peaceful” access when you need it. Also Kino has the Thundergun.
  2. Good ideas. I’ll post a pic of the full get-up around 5pm est, so uh, 8 hours from the time of this post. Edit: OOF i still have some fake blood mixed up, i should get a teddy bear.
  3. What would mother think if she saw my online order history? ... or big brother for that matter? I think I’m gonna stick a spring thru the top of the Wehrmacht cap, and attach a laminated little yellow “Revive” tag so that the word appears to be floating above my head. I’m not gonna wear a swastika arm-band because ew, but i’ll probably make the smiley-face armband from Ascension or like a black 935 arm-band. working on some makeshift glasses to give me glowing blue eyes, we’ll see how they turn out. Not pictured: gloves, belt, suspenders. I’ll post a pic soon of me wearing all the pieces I’ve got thus far. Any ideas for more zombies-specific props? Probably gonna make a juggernog bottle, among other little stuff.
  4. 1. Nuketown. Random perks on ‘Roids. 2. Moon. This was a tough one, but come on. 3. Oof. This is one of the hardest possible match-ups for me but I gotta go with Kino. It’s really, honestly like the perfect “baseline” map. Intuitive round-robin map layout, all the standard features, box, teleporter and PaP. If you wanna introduce a friend to zombies, and you’re trying to pick a first map to play, Kino is probably your best bet. You spend the greatest percentage of time on that map actually fighting for your life non-stop, as opposed to more in-depth scavenger hunt type stuff which is less noob-friendly. Having a special zombie come mixed in with the regular zombies, as opposed to having their own designated round, was also fun and a good precedent. Also I seem to remember the zombies on Ascension having crazy barrel-rolls and side step maneuvers. 4. Another tough one, but gotta go with Origins personally. I regard it in the same category as Mob and Shadows in terms of being a movie-esque masterpiece. Of those 3, origins is definitely the most noob-friendly and epic in scale. (Did I mention the giant robots?) Der Riese is, like I said, the “Stairway to Heaven” of Zombies maps. Origins is the “Rap God.” See, on every map, you eventually reach your “plateau” of progress, where you settle on your final setup for the game. You reach that plateau at a different rate depending on what round you’re on. Play your cards right on Buried and you’re fully perked and packed with a paralyzer on round 2, ready for the long grind. Alternately, on Shadows of Evil, reaching the plateau of having all wonderweapons / swords, you’re already like 75% done the easter egg. Origins has a really great balance in this regard, because the 6 power generators kinda carry you through the map’s progression on the crest of a wave, with tons of divergent paths to get to that plateau, because at the end of the day, there’s just so much to do on origins. It’s the map that takes the absolute longest for you to run out of shit to do other than just slaying through the rounds.
  5. There is no barrier to entry to this club; congrats on ur membership.
  6. Richtofen Cosplay in Progress. Grey east-german military parade jacket + a lot of fake blood. more updates coming. it’s coming together marvelously.
  7. 1. The Giant. 2. Ancient Evil. Demolished the easter egg with my bud yesterday, great map. It’s like BO4’s Eisendrache, maybe slightly less so. Gauntlets are insanity. 3. Buried. A very difficult pick, but if I had to go and pick one map to play right now, it would be Buried. As an overall artistic endeavor SoE is a masterpiece of aesthetics and narrative, but as Jason Blundell often reiterates, zombies is a Game first and foremost, so I gotta go with what I’ve had the most fun playing. If I had only ever played through buried and SoE one time each, Shadows would win, but there’s a lot of tedium that reduces replayability. Much like MotD, if you had to turn a map into a Feature Film, Shadows would probably be the obvious pick, but i don’t feel like getting re-betrayed by the shadowman every time i wanna pack-a-punch. I think Treyarch sorta crammed a lot of the easter egg / narrative / scavenger hunt content into the early-game setup in order to force newb players to get acclimated to that kinda thing. Like, 75% of the shadows easter egg is just getting your class set up, because they took things we were used to getting more easily (PaP, relevant wonderweapons) and hid them behind a bunch of rituals and stuff. Great map for just one big playthrough, like a movie. There’s a bunch of weird setup stuff in Buried with using Arthur to break the barriers, but you can go for that gnarly challenge Awaken the Gazebo, “pack a punch on round 1” which is way more fun than a SoE PaP speedrun. 4. Moon. If only we could have aimed all 3 missiles at Hanford, Washington State, USA. Then no goddamn bus driver. 5. Kino Der Toten. Layout wise and atmospherically Kino and Verruckt are pretty similar actually, Kino is just Verruckt on steroids. The projector room is the shit. 6. Ascension. I wish I could see a master list of all my hours played on every map, because I suspect BO1 ascension might take the cake for me. Just dude, the OG strategy of only buying to PhD, and you and your bud defend QR and PhD against the monkeys, til you get all the perks with all the doors still closed. oof. 7. Classified. Frankly, even if it was between The Giant and Classified, I’d go with Classified, but seeing as how “The Giant” blows the original der riese out of the water IMO, it’s really no contest. I know it’s the “Stairway to Heaven” of zombies maps, but again, it’s a matter of what I’d wanna hop on and play right now, and frankly i don’t wanna lose my jug to the jank-ass OG wunderwaffe. I’m addicted to classified too because I’m on the dark-matter grind. 8. Origins. Call of the Dead was very much so another BO1 map, and a spectacular one at that, but Origins was the beginning of an era, where the story really kicked off into the multiverse, the standard for future wonderweapons was set, and it was the first map where they were like “alright from here on out we’re gonna fuckin drown every map in aesthetic” and it’s awesome. Like, Treyarch loves taking 2 aesthetics that are basically unrelated, and smashing them together, and Origins is where they got the courage to do that. Chicago noir + lovecraftian horror? Dieselpunk WW1 + ancient archaeology? Siege of Stalingrad + Dragons and Robots? HELL YEA. I remember during like the BO1 season, it was super common to guess what a future map location was gonna be. There were obvious ones like “Paris” or “Atlantis” or whatever, but people were always generally like “oh I bet there’s gonna be a map in a hospital / school” and stuff like that. Or like ooh, what if there was a map that took place entirely on a boat. Now Origins and the Multiverse blew our horizons wide open. So now we can speculate where a map’s going to take place, when, and what other ridiculous anachronistic twist they feel like throwing in there. This is a tangent, but here’s my pitch for Zombies Chronicles 2: Call of the Dead, TranZit (plus bus depot, farm and town), die rise, buried, nuketown. although i’ve heard murmurs that the next Aether map will be like a Blood-style expansion of Nuketown. So we shall see what maps remain when this season is over.
  8. 1. Shi no numa. At the end of the day Nacht was the prototype map, and we love it for what it was. 2. Gimme 48 hours to update. Been in an Xbox mood lately. Probably gonna be AE. 3. IX. Probably in my top 5 maps of all time. 4. Shadows. Kinda uninviting for an on-disc map, but still a masterpiece in its own regard. 5. Buried. Voyage is great, but it looks like they finished making IX and were like “alright now lets make the harder / bigger IX.” Like it could be the “same map” but with just a different layout. Buried is just radically different. Hella buildables, unique mechanics, etc. 6. Der Eisendrache. Potentially my favorite map of all time honestly. Like the “story” of that map was so compelling. You saw the consequences for every step along the way in the easter egg, and it made sense and had a progression. Some easter eggs are just a bunch of disjointed steps that have nothing to do with anything, like why am I shooting this lantern? But Eisendrache was like, oh we gotta get into the safe, but we don’t know the combo, so lets go back in time and peep over the shoulder of the last guy to lock it, etc. it was like an actual story unfolding. Moon had a very compelling EE as well in the same way, but DE brought the first real boss fight, 4 elemental weapons, great contributions to lore, just tons done right. Some of my favorite cyphers. 7. TranZit. Screw the haters, it might not be the best, but I’ve had fun on TranZit. Denizens and lava suck, pack a punch sucks, jet gun sucks, but I prefer that over bootleg nacht. The map with the greatest potential room for improvement if they remaster. 8. Mob of the dead. Kino has a special place in my heart, but sorry, I have a tattoo of the afterlife eye, ez pick. 9. Verruckt. I’ve probably got way more play time on “five” than verruckt, but frankly, verruckt is just so nice. The first “real” map imo, atmospheric as hell, definitely comparable to five in terms of close-quarters-ness, but there ain’t no trench gun on five. Plus Classified just blows five out of the water regardless. 10. Ascension. I love Blood for its contribution to the story obviously, it’s just a really well done map narratively / thematically, but gameplay wise it kinda pales in comparison to IX for example. I’ve put an ungodly amount of hours into ascension, splitscreen, solo or otherwise. It really blew my mind coming out of kino, when the whole aesthetic up until then was nazi / axis stuff, then suddenly it’s a cold-war cosmodrome. From then on every map after that had a wildly different aesthetic. I think that’s where they really caught their stride and realized they could go anywhere. It’s also like the perfect example of how the zombies story is told in like a vignette format, like each map is a brief snapshot of a large timeline that we aren’t privy to. You spawn in on a lunar lander like “how the hell did we get here?” and just immediately have to start deducing stuff based on dialogue and surroundings. Nice. 11. Shangri-la. Zetsubou was a good map, glitches aside, but there wasn’t really anything there storywise. We knew we were coming for Takeo’s soul. Shangri-la was also a kinda “filler-map” in terms of it being a small step in richtofen’s grand scheme, but they wove it into the story of Brock and Gary, which was really interesting and set up major themes for the series. Zetsubou didn’t really feel like its “own” map in the same way. 12. Classified. Weird choice maybe, but i dunno man, Classified is like the “The Giant” of BO4, and I think I can’t help but favor it just by virtue of the fact that it’s in BO4. I just love the specialists, perks, elixir systems and such, and it feels really good. Perfect example of the Takeo Effect: take something disliked, shelve it for a few years, then bring it back in a more badass form and it instantly becomes everyone’s favorite. Some combination of nostalgia and the realization of potential that you always saw there. Classified doesn’t compare to Gorod in terms of its epic scale story wise and emotionally, but Classified is so OG with the radios and the storyline developments, and the aesthetic is killer. Winter’s howl ate its wheaties this time around. Just so much to love. Ultimis Cast. 13. Der Riese. No contest. 14. Call of the Dead. Hell yea. I really reeeeally hope they remaster Town though. I love the minimalistic maps like nuketown, and with bo4 mechanics it would be lit. 15. Origins. Everybody likes Oranges.
  9. Dangit my reply got lost in the sauce. I’ll edit it back in when I can retype.
  10. The poster for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is currently my phone wallpaper as a matter of fact. lets go on a date to see it
  11. Hay all, I’ve been working on a pretty high-quality Ultimis Richtofen cosplay, I’ll post progress pics n stuff when more of the pieces arrive in the mail. it’s gonna be lit. Getting a historically accurate outfit together and everything.
  12. ~Zombies Hangman~  Test your might!  Incorrect Guesses (0/6) : Hint(s):  Scoreboard: Reigning Champ: Lenne - 246 2nd: Slade - 238 3rd: way2good - 201 Electric Jesus - 150 Nightmare Voyager (ripperino) - 134  The Meh - 116 ETEl2NAL407 - 100 Tasha the noob - 93 Delta - 68 Naitrax - 58 Rissole25 - 48 MurderMachineX - 46 Undead - 44 Chopper - 34 Cheesegrater28 - 32 Tac - 30 PortlyLlama80 - 22 Reddonkeyham - 20 Requix Eclipse - 18 Jake Duck - 16 wesleykg00 - 16 Silv3r Energy - 16 83457 - 12 Anonymous - 12 zombieman9 - 10 XAvengedLullabyX - 10 OverWater17 - 10 RaidDzn - 10 PINNAZ - 8 nayrc - 6 jiipee95 - 6 unlawfully inacurate - 4 Ooka - 2 RiftRunner001 - 2 ZombieDreamerDan - 2 CrubZee - 2 BriggzyJ97 - 2 TheNathanNS - 2 Mr Swifty - 2 RZArazorSHARP20 - 2 Señor Festo Lithium - 2 JJMFP - 1   Rules:  Guess the word/phrase correctly without any letters = 10 points Guess the word/phrase correctly = 2 points Stump the field (6 incorrect guesses) = 6 points One incorrect letter = 1 incorrect guess One incorrect word(s) = 2 incorrect guesses You may only guess up to 2 consonants or 1 vowel at a time Host adds hint after 4 incorrect guesses Numbers must be spelled out  After 6 wrong guesses the person who didmake the last guess gets the board  If after two weeks, the person who is meant to be posting a board doesn't, another person isallowed to take their board and continue the game.
  13. Bumpdated. Throwback to when I had class. Dont faint lads

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