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Electric Jesus

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  1. I identify with Badger on a spiritual level
  2. My biggest disappointment with Black Ops 3 was how little they explored Samantha as a character. regardless, I kinda interpreted that first line of hers in the OP as being MotD-esque. Consider that in mob, the completion of the easter egg has us playing through the final cycle in the loop, before it's broken. However, we don't know how many times they have been through it before. We can assume from the intro cutscene and Weasel's dialogue that it's been at least several times, but for all we know we could be on the millionth cycle, or more. or less. We really can't know. That all being said, in terms of the loop Sam is referring to, I think we can chuck pretty much all of Waw and BO1 and 2 out the window. I interpreted Monty's quotes on Gorod as meaning that all the events of the world war 2 and subsequent green run timeline were just like the "splinters" or fractured random timelines that resulted from whatever "metaphorical hammer" they broke the universe with in Origins. If we can presume that (which is a lot to assume) then the loop would be like Events depicted in Primis scrap happen, hence there being monuments to primis in origins fast forward to word war 1, then the giant, then up to revelations where it loops back around that's a bit difficult to swallow, since we usually think of a loop as involving the same set of characters, but for Primis to be the same people as the origins 4, there would have to be a lot of time travel post-revelations, and they would have had to lose their memories, so occam's razor demands that the situation is more like the one you see in the third harry potter film. for those who don't know, harry gets into trouble and gets saved by a mysterious stranger. In order to find out who saved him, he goes back in time to witness the events again, but he realizes nobody is coming to save his past-self so he steps in and does the saving himself. So it's like a grandfather paradox all the way down the line, with each version of himself saving the previous version sequentially. The multiverse doesn't really allow for a grandfather paradox to take place, so I guess you'd call it a "rolling loop." so O4 set #1 (abbreviated O41) are at Origins, they do all of their business up until revelations, and then they become the "first" Primis. i say first in quotes because there was already evidence of a previous Primis's existence in O41's journey, so you run into the "chicken or the egg" paradox. Still, O41 gets sent back to become primis, and then they probably live out their lives in ancient times and die of old age or whatever. then, O4 #2 comes along centuries later and finds the evidence of O41, then O42 reaches revelations and becomes the next Primis, and it goes on and on like that forever. So it's like a "rolling loop" in that the same events repeat forever, but it's not always the same "version" of the characters going through the motions like it is in MotD. at least that was my interpretation of it. That being said, Samantha having "outside" knowledge of the loop is really intriguing. She's a lot like Sans from Undertale, since that dude has knowledge of all of the versions of himself and such. It might just be that Monty's perfect world is outside of time or in a higher dimension, and he's clued sam, eddy, and maxis in on the grand scheme of things. If that were the case though, it could be the case that from Monty's perspective, he's just chilling in heaven and once every couple of years he has to defend against the exact same recurring apothicon onslaught. So sam, maxis, monty, and certain richtofens know the exact "chain of events" and are determined to ensure that each individual loop comes full circle. Because in this case, the loop resuming as it does forever results in the apothicons never winning and the universe surviving. Allowing the loop to break (rather than be closed) opens the universe up to the vulnerability that comes with uncertainty, although in the next game we might see them trying to erase the need for the loop in the first place, "destroying" or "eliminating" the loop, and removing the need to keep "closing" or sustaining it. edit: i say that under the assumption that monty and the inhabitants of his world aren't bound by any loop, as that seems in contrast with his nearly-omnipotent nature. edit 2: this is consistent with Blundell's attempts to retcon pretty much the whole Jimmy Z section of the story. Even the addition of the keeper to the new ascension loading screen is giving me that kind of vibe. Don't worry, i'm only smoking 4 blunts at the same time right now.
  3. Never forget. I'm not into dudes but I'd make an exception for @Lenne oh wait you're a girl, phew ;)
  4. Hey yall, just got in a pretty horrific car accident today. I'm the only person who got hurt but i'm alright. My car barrel rolled down a hill and I got all kindsa fucked up. Just felt compelled to bring it up because I got depressed when i realized that if I died, none of you would know. But don't worry, Electric Jesus took the wheel: ;)
  5. Alrighty folks, it's been a bit. We all know of the creativity-enhancing powers your average household shower can bestow upon you. Consequently I was standing in my shower contemplating the meaning of life when a few radios and cyphers drifted back to me. I though really hard and arrived at what I think could be an equally insane yet plausible reality in revelations. I'll give my "evidence" first so I can build up to my idea more gradually. Firstly there's the fact that Samantha is not Maxis's biological daughter, as he says so in an origins radio. "The child's voice calls to me more frequently than ever. At first she spoke only of her imprisonment in a mythical realm known as "Agartha". Now she claims to be my daughter, even though I know no such child exists! (sigh) I fear my sanity may be slipping away from me." Bearing this in mind, let's move on. In Gorod Krovi, there is a cipher that once decoded, reads as follows: "Kronorium Excerpt B To allow quick travel between dimensions the Keepers created the transference device which is powered by the Aether. The Keepers have placed structures throughout the realms." While the full powers of the MPD have yet to be shown off in full, it's safe to assume that this is in reference to the MPD, as it was built specifically to house the Vril generator which summons the keeper on Der Eisendrache. There's also the fact that Richtofen needs the help of the keepers to access and interact with the MPD of D.E. as well. We can conclude that it was built by the Keepers, or at the very least designed to be compatible with their artifacts. Richtofen himself says in a moon radio that the device is "a direct connection to another dimension," which is consistent with the Kronorium's description of it, prior to us ever reading it. Remember how group 935 had scientists working on uncovering the secrets of the MPD around the clock for days, and then Samantha stumbles across it and within seconds fully harnesses its powers? It could be convenient timing, since she was the first person to touch it following it being filled with souls by Groph and Schuster. Let's also not forget that Samantha had a drawing on the wall in her room on Der Eisendrache, depicting a Keeper visiting her in her bed. Not sure what to make of that exactly. ...Backtracking a bit, although Samantha only appears to be repeating what she has heard from Maxis regarding the ancients, there's sufficient evidence to suggest that she knows more than Maxis ever did. For instance, she says "My father was so close," but then tells the player that they are "so much closer than my father ever got." How would she know how close either actually are if she doesn't already know the outcome or destination they are working toward? She even comes right out and says that their completion of the steps would open the gateway to Agartha, as well as giving highly specific instructions to the player regarding how to complete the steps. She obviously has more knowledge than Maxis himself ever had regarding the rituals of the ancients. Speaking of "The Ancients," Jason Blundell himself was asked in a recent interview whether the Keepers have ever been referred to as the ancients, to which he said something along the lines of "they may have been called that at some point." He is notoriously ambiguous in interviews, if he isn't just saying "pass" to a question altogether. This answer seems to me like a tentative affirmation though. (I will link this interview as soon as I find it again.) Monty on Gorod Krovi says in reference to Samantha... "she really didn't get much of a chance, did she? Right out of the gate she was thrown into this madness before she could ever figure out exactly who she was. " Now this could just be in reference to the struggles of children in general when coming to terms with their identity or their role in traumatic events, but to me Monty could be suggesting that she has a specific identity that she struggled to realize. It gives me a very "You're a wizard, Harry" kind of vibe. Let's review quickly. Samantha... -Is not Maxis's biological daughter, and her heritage is unknown. -Has extensive knowledge of the rituals of the Ancients, who are likely Keepers. -Has been in Agartha, a place the Ancients specifically developed technology to reach. -Is able to intuitively pilot the MPD, a device used and likely created by Keepers. -Has probably been visited by Keepers in her sleep. Yeah, you know where I'm going now. Samantha's a goddamn Keeper. A Gorod Cipher tells us that the Apothicons descended from Keepers, and we know from the shadow man that Apothicons can assume a human form. It stands to logic that if the Apothicons possess this power, the Keepers too might. My ultimate conclusion is this. Samantha has really been on the sidelines for the entirety of Black Ops 3. No longer. In Revelations, she is going to whoop some Shadow-Man ass.
  6. Damn straight.
  7. I made it to 37, was about to finish up the easter egg, but apparently if you enter the boss chamber without a gas mask the fumes insta-kill you. I was a lil mad, but managed to finish the egg by 31 on another go, and killed myself right after.
  8. I never left, Dad. Still play the hell out of Zombies, finally got the Zetsubou egg today in fact. Just not quite[/] enough time to deal with life, play, AND talk about it here. But by god I'll make time.
  9. Edit: disclaimer: I'm tired and not a physicist yet. I might be wrong about stuff. Ok, so, i'm putting it in the simplest terms here, and typing really fast in the spirit of a crash course. Anyway Physics is my 2nd love, behind zombies, much like our favorite Melon / my idol @MrRoflWaffles. I kinda wanna tackle a little thingy that occurred to me, but it takes a little mutual physics knowledge to discuss. Anyway here's a quick lesson. Ok, so all of your DNA, and cells, and in fact all matter is made of atoms. These consist of a nucleus made of neutrons with no electrical charge, and protons with a positive charge. They are surrounded by electrons with negative charges that orbit the nucleus. like with magnets, opposites attract, so the electrons are pulled in to the protons in the nucleus. The protons in the nucleus have a like charge but are held together by a powerful nuclear binding force. Imagine attaching 2 balls to opposite ends of a bug spring and squeeeeeezing them together. Lots of stored up energy there because they want to jump apart, like the protons. anyway, nuclear bombs work by effectively releasing that spring in one nucleus by shooting stuff at the nucleus. This breaks up the nucleus and throws out little bits of crap in an explosion. These bits then hit other atoms' nuclei, and set off a chain reaction that ends up looking like this: Additionally, like I said before, like charges repel. When you're sitting on a chair, your ass never actually comes in contact with it. You're effectively just hovering above the surface without touching, as the electrons on the outside of the atoms are repelling. When you touch something and feel it, you're just feeling the electrons in your finger repelling the electrons in the object. Anyway, imagine a brick wall. This wall is made of neutrons, electrons, and protons. Now imagine you're holding a negatively charged baseball, like an electron. If you throw it at the wall it bounces off because of the electrons in the wall. Throwing a positively charged basketball, like a proton, will yield the same result, as the protons in the wall repel it. However, imagine a soccer ball with no charge. this is your neutron, and lemme tell ya, neutrons don't give a shit. It isn't repelled by anything so if you throw it, it'll just go straight through the wall. However, it turns out neutrons are really not the biggest fans of your DNA. They'll bump into protons and break down your chromosomes and kill you horrifically if you get blasted with a lot of them. If you've heard of something referred to as radioactive, it means the atom has a huge nucleus made up of an absolute ton of neutrons and protons, so many that they are basically leaking and throwing bits out. these bits hit your cells and give you the symptoms of radiation. Anyway some scientists were like bruh, we gotta weaponize these neutrons. Thus the neutron bomb was born, and very nearly used in actual warfare. It seemed like a perfect plan. Effectively they modified nuclear bombs in such a way that they ejected 10x as many neutrons. The result was that within a 0.8 mile radius, any people would have their DNA fried and die, but it allegedly left buildings and infrastructure intact. Remember what I said about the soccer ball going through the wall? Imagine a nuke that kills everyone, but leaves your buildings standing, so you can follow up by just walking into an empty city that's fully intact and meet no opposition. HMMM, a nuke that kills everyone but miraculously doesn't damage structures. Where have we seem that before? Yup, I think the Ka-Boom Nukes are inspired by the neutron bomb. So why does this matter? You might be saying to yourself "So what EJ, they based a seemingly magical gameplay mechanic on a bit of real science, it doesn't change anything, does it?" Well here's the thing. A neutron bomb explains why zombies die from the nukes but the terrain is unaffected. Why, then, can the players survive? This almost makes me speculate that being exposed to 115 without actually being dead beforehand re-enforces your DNA somehow. Well we already know from the song "We All Fall Down" that this is potentially the case. "We used the helicase to bind the CXV." CXV is 115 in roman numerals, and helicase is an enzyme for binding nucleic acid-- the NA in DNA. Think about it-- literally every character to come in contact with the nuke power-up has spent a significant amount of time in a 115-infested area. Even the soldiers on Nacht had to have been sitting on it, otherwise the zombies wouldn't have shown up. Unfortunately, 115 incidentally also does some pretty unpleasant things to dead bodies, as we already know. So I guess my actual "question" is, what the hell does 115 do to our DNA? We know based on Jason Blundell's responses to waffles' questions that the O4 are guaranteed to be human, but does 115 maybe make them a bit more than just that? Did Richtofen get his (radiation-proof) super-soldiers after all?
  10. You know, I almost got the impression that it had to be something along the lines of the movie The Prestige. Zombies has already drawn inspiration from that film, such as in Kino aesthetically. Anyway in that movie, it's revealed that every time someone teleports, actually 2 of them come out the other end, and the version of the dude at the end is just the one of many copies that incidentally survived the whole movie, unlike the rest. Anyway something kinda similar is the Gene imprint plant things on Zetsubou, that act like an auto-detonating time-bomb to an extent. You pop out with all the perks you had at the time of leaving your genetic material there. I think maybe Richtofen's insurance policy is like that. In case they die or end up in a shitty place, they can just kill themselves and let their clones carry on and hopefully not mess up. The MotD vials were probably just what Richtofen used as a test sample of DNA from someone else. He could have potentially literally cloned the MotD characters on Zetsubou just for verification. Then he realized, ok this is possible, and took the other 3 to get blood vials of alternate versions of themselves. Or maybe he just literally took all of them to a doctor's office and drew their own blood. This explains why he didn't choose to call in this insurance policy until Zetsubou. He didn't have confirmation that cloning himself would work until Zetsubou. I still can't say why of all people his test trial would have blood from MotD. Anyway I suspect that it has to do with saving "back-up selves" with the blood.
  11. I'm not dead yet god dammit. I'm making a comeback or by god my name isn't Electric "Chicken Sandwich Lord" Jesus.
  12. Congrats my love. You win; I'm a girl. You are officially wearing the pants in our relationship. :3
  13. They should change the AW Paladin to the Goodyear blimp, except it says "GoodGame" because it's GG once you got a Paladin. :D

  14. So basically here's how I wanna see this working. I'll start with a hypothetical scenario that goes along the lines of: you get a million dollars, BUT you have to suffer some other weird ridiculous consequence in exchange. Then other people say whether they would take the money, like you have to decide if it would be worth it.an example would be "Million dollars, but you have to cut off one of your own fingers." anyway, let's see if we can get this rolling. (you can change the reward from one million dollars, that's just a baseline.) Anyway I'll start with: You get one million dollars, BUT... for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, you can never use the bathroom in your home / work / places you normally stay, and you have to go out to use a public bathroom EVERY TIME. like, this could be a convenience store on the way home from work and it's no big deal, or you might have to get up at 3am as your bowels enter DEFCON 1 and drive to a store. Very inconvenient, but worth $1 million? would you take it?

Call of Duty Zombies

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