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The T-Virus

The T-Virus is not a literal virus that can infect and destroy, it is a mental virus that is based on certain forms of thinking and rationale. Those who inhibit the disease need not fear death by this Virus. It is curable and is most easy to defend against. Remember, this is a joke. A joke with meaning. So consider it as such.

The T-Virus:

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This Virus as shown above is dangerous. It has no relation to any other virus in existence. The picture you see above is the only known photo of this virus, captured by Doctor Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov before his awful death by the hands of the same virus. Before his death, however, the doctor was able to take notes about patients that were infected by this disease. His records date all the way back to 2008. Not that far but far enough for me to feel old.

Dr. Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov:

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The picture above was taken moments before his death. He was saying things like "There's a Type 99 behind that HELP door!" and "Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 is going to have Aliens!" Shortly after his death, the records were recovered from his Dorm up in the mountains of Russia. Many Patients suffered the same fate as the Doctor. Muttering incoherent inconsistencies just before falling into a deep coma and releasing their bowels to death. There were 18 patients in his castle dorm and the following images may be too graphic for children.

Patient #543:

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This patient by the looks of his bow tie was an originally professional lawyer. With his finger up, he was able to latch any and all cases and even still close them in his favor. After being captured by Doctor Ivanov and treated with the T-Virus, the Doctor took careful note of the changes.

Patient #543 seems to be saying something that I cannot quite understand clearly.. Something about being able to leave the map... He says that there's more to Nacht. The patient seems to be clinging to a single thought surrounding Nacht der Untoten. He says that when you use the flamethrower on the top of the map, you get to see words. These words lead to an easter egg that allows you to fight Zombie Hitler. He continues to ramble on about how reaching Round 100 will allow you to fight Zombie Hitler. It seems that this patient has undergone some type of brain malfunction... Will continue research..

The Patient numbered 543 was a Local Lawyer and worked for seventeen years with the Kremlin himself getting the people to forget that the Kremlin was bad. He died with his last words being, "There's a way to fight Hitler."

Patient #84:

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Patient #84 suffered traumatic head injury and can barely see. His head and part of his shoulders were all that was left before his death. This patient was special in more ways than one. It was the first patient to change something for the Virus and the first to actually have a vision. The Doctor continued his research.

Patient #84 is doing relatively well. Responses are normal and basic functions are running up to speed. The patient's eyes seem to be dosing and once again the patient seems to be muttering something but this time it's intriguing... After hearing about the patients claim of "writings on the wall" I did some research and found that Russia has Cryptic Writings all over the High House walls. These writings were delivered to this wall centuries ago before the High House existed. After doing research on these writings, I have concluded that the patient can see visions of the past. The ramblings meant something. The idea that these ancient apostles would come to the High House with Cryptic Writings of forewarning. My patient practically confirmed that the writings predict the first world war. The Great War. With this new discovery lingering, the desire to continue my research grows.

Before Patient #84 succumbed to his violent death, he said that "Robots would walk above us" and "Would suck if we had to walk with them". He died alone in his cell room after defecating all over the walls.

Patient #155:

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Patient #155 was a much more advanced case of the Virus. It came as a surprise to the Doctor that it had developed at such a rapid pace. It left speculation as to why or how we could go from a bunch of nobodies to a bunch of somebodies. The Doctor observed for eight long days and nights before coming to his conclusion.

Patient #155 has left me in a frenzy of confusion. The Virus was able to manipulate the environment with which it existed in. It practically changed the rules of nature. As for the Patient, I observed similar traits. Muttering inconsistencies and lots of screaming. The patient this time wouldn't stop talking about using the Wunderwaffe and acquiring a particular amount of points, then going up to a "Help" sign and holding the action button. The patient is stern that this will let you fall into a room filled with Wunderwaffes. Of course, none of this makes sense and cannot at all be possible by any means. This Virus is causing some type of hypnosis and seems to fill the subject's mind with intentional lies. Maybe unintentional. We will have to conduct more tests.

Patient #155 fell off the side of a cliff as a part of the Doctor's ongoing experimentation. When the Doctor looked over to see if the Patient had survived the terrible accident, the pool of fecal matter that the Patient lied in was enough to confirm his death. Before Patient #155 perished its final words were "You can knock down Peter!"

Patient #49:

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Patient #49 was the pinnacle of the Doctor's ongoing experiment with his new Virus discovery. The patient started off as the perfect subject that had perfect response and senses intact. However, the subject began to deteriorate. Bits and pieces of the subject were falling off in mid test. The Doctor elaborates.

Patient #49 was going to be my brightest endeavor. Responses and senses were normal and the subject seemed to have the increased intelligence that I had been waiting for. However, the subject quickly began to deteriorate. At first, I couldn't quite understand what the patient was saying. I finally was able to decode the language. Apparently, the patient is on a rant about a Type 99 behind a "Help" door. There seems to be no consistency whatsoever from my patients and there seems to be less and less logic being used. Their rationale is simple. It's there because they want it to be there. There's no reason for it to be there, there's no indication that it is there, they just claim it so. Sadly, my progress isn't going as planned. The subject will tested on its final tomorrow.

Patient #49 never survived that final test. Instead when the Doctor went to ready the patient, he was found dead with blood against the wall and the words "Help, where's the Type 99?" on the wall. Patient #49 had passed in his feces.

Patient #242:

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Patient #242 was another exciting return for the Doctor, as you can see the subject is seemingly stable and alive and well. However, the Patient turned out horribly wrong. The Doctor notes.

It seems the Patient #242 has identified themselves as Bill O'Reilly. For whatever reason, they have taken this identity and used it to gain credibility in the field. The Patient still elicits the same traits as the previous patients but without the screaming and the nonsense. The Ramblings still exist. Whether it be complete and utter bullshit or something about the shadow figure in one of the paintings. He says, "it has to be Richtofen because the other photo looks like Maxis." Whatever he means, it's still gibberish. No vital evidence has been presented anywhere on Earth relating to the Shadow figure being either of them nor does the photo look like Maxis. It looks like an American-washed Richtofen. Whatever the case, the Patient is becoming delusional. I will have to terminate these tests before the subject gains anymore supporters.

Patient #242 was put to rest by the Doctor. Documented as a Mercy Killing. Before Patient #242 died, he said "You can Pack-A-Punch the bowie knife!"

Patient #5:

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A seemingly professional Patient. Patient #5 is what the Doctor has been waiting for. Although, the moments with the Patient were melancholy at best. The Doctor observes.

It is my professional opinion that this patient is by far the most insane. Patient #5 at first was different and newly welcomed as something that could revolutionize the Virus itself. However, Patient #5 became restless and pointed out its own inconsistencies. At first, claiming that the Scientist that chases you is Maxis and then debunking and filibustering his own argument. At most, Patient #5 has granted some closure in that this Virus now has consistency in that it develops inconsistency within its subject. The only question now, is how do I manipulate it for good? We shall see how further tests will react with the subject.

When Patient #5 was asked to participate in a test, the patient quickly filled for a shut down of the whole operation and then went into hiding so as to avoid public controversy. To this day the Patient runs a muck in U.S. Congress. Saying things like "J.F.K. was not killed, zombies broke into the Pentagon. This is fact." and "Maxis was the one that put the Pack-A-Punch in the Defcon Office not Richtofen."

Patient #1:

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Patient #1 is not to be confused with the Patient Zero. As of yet, the doctor has no Patient Zero capable of containing the virus and surviving. Patient #1 was a practical take on fixing the virus. The Doctor met many challenges along the way but nonetheless was vigilant.

Patient #1 has been going on and on about the continuance of an Easter Egg. Shouting day and night that there are more orbs around the map, small red orbs. He says that only specific characters can see their orbs and must use the Death Machine to shoot them. I cannot entertain the patients delusions but I do allow the patient to release their pent up energy. Further testing may prove lethal to my patient but progress is being made with the slow perfection of this virus. It will soon provide clear vision instead of a black eye.

Patient #1 was shot with an M16 while bacon was wrapped around on the muzzle. The bacon was placed on the subjects wounds so the animals have a place to start. Patient #1 was forgotten.

Patient #3624:

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Patient #3624 was a seasoned veteran in the Virus and became a Doctor himself. Following Doctor Ivanov throughout his dorms and joining in the many tests conducted. However, at the end of his time, Patient #3624 became incoherent and began muttering about "Paradise". 

It seems that my long time friend and co-scientist is beginning his decent into the Virus' maddening  properties. Patient #3624 is finally showing the original traits of the Virus. Claiming that Aliens are the ones who gave us the Vril the device. Claiming that the Golden Rod is somehow an ancient device found in the cold mountains of Russia. My poor friend is becoming inconsistent and is constantly creating a loophole for a story nobody concretely understands...

Patient #3624 soon after quit his Scientific job and moved out to New York City where he hosted the Daily Show for many years before quitting that and becoming Moses.

Patient #13:

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Patient #13 was weird and uncomfortable for everyone. Even the Doctor noted the trap conversations and the intense detail to story. The Doctor's records reflect.

Patient #13 is a sad creation. Not at all fun but very interesting. It seems that instead of describing inconsistencies with the map, they are beginning to describe inconsistencies in the story. Patient #13 wont stop confiding to me that Shangri-La is on Mars. I agree just to sate the patient's insanity. Obviously Shangri-La is not on Mars, it's in Brazil. After realizing that the inconsistencies are changing, I began to hypothesis what this means for fact and fiction. It means that one can identify a Patient by simply applying logic and rational thinking to their proposal. I can only hope that my Patient DO NOT repopulate and eventually get lost in the genetically deficient world.

Oddly enough, Patient #13 escaped and fled to America where it soon became a Supreme Court justice. The Patient, to this day, has not stopped the inconsistencies.

Patient #4:

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Patient #4 was overwhelmingly hostile towards the Doctor and was forced into a captivity center where the Doctor had to interact with the Patient behind a two tier wall. The Doctor faced the Patient with fear.

Patient #4 is the most fearsome subject yet. The screaming and shouting is nonstop and will not cease to discuss the destruction of the Earth. How the next installment will be amazing and how we the players will finally play as Samantha. This is now false and is an over-the-top statement that uses no logic whatsoever. The Patient, although is violent, is very interesting. The Virus is now no longer developing a story, it is predicting the story. If the Virus can get it right one out of a thousand than maybe the populous will believe him. We are reaching the end of my testing on this one. I must move forward.

Patient #4 was beat to death with a shovel. The Patient's last words were "Now the next game will let us fight in spaaace!"

Patient Zero:

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Patient Zero is how The Doctor developed the Virus' infamous name. The T-Virus. The Patient was completely unresponsive and unwilling to cease living.

Patient Zero has set new grounds for how we should view this Virus. The T-Virus as I will now call it. It forces an individual to think almost "ass-backwards" in order to bring peace of mind to something that doesn't exist. For example, Patient Zero claims that there are beams of light that come off the Laundry Door and fly to the Pylon in the Corn Fields. He is right but it's simply an illusion. Patient Zero will not accept that it is an illusion. Its convinced that there is more, if not something else to do. The Patient soon became restless and shredded the map to pieces before realizing that there is nothing more to it. Patient Zero committed suicide on my desk. Before committing the act, he claimed that the Church was out of place and that you could go into it.

Patient Zero paved the way for the naming of the virus. The Tranzit Virus or T-Virus for short. The description of the virus became clear. A disease that elicits illogical thoughts for a subject matter of nonexistence. The Patient will always be convinced that there is more to nothing.

Patient #58:

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Patient #58 was a series of bad quotes that lead to the infection of Doctor Invanov. The Doctor remembers the incident.

Patient #58 was intriguing... However, I must confess that the Patient got me to agree with some of what it said. For example, the Patient had a contention that Marlton created the Bus from Tranzit. Simply because the bus is heard at Nuketown. However, I had to think for a moment before realizing that Marlton claimed to have no idea how the bus worked. The strange nature of the argument got me to thinking... Maybe Marlton made the bus to escape Nuketown... But... That is illogical and inconsistent... Sharing my coffee with the Patient wasn't a logical decision...

Patient #58 died from the coffee it drank. It was allergic.

Patient#49:

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Patient #49 was the first case where Doctor Ivanov was sincerely swayed to agreement before finally realizing how illogical he was.

It was clear to me that Patient #49 was different but not this different. It convinced me that Marlton was dead simply based on one photo of a Zombie with a tie. Logically, this evidence isn't enough to bring me to a "without a doubt" conclusion. So far, I have not been able to think long enough without jumping to a conclusion about a story hole or plot device. It seems that the Virus has infected me. I must continue on... To try and cease this virus from reaching the outside world.

Patient #49 was killed when the map released and Marlton was alright. The Map was awful, though. Who really died? Genius Map Design.

Patient #4624

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Patient #4624 was the beginning of a possible cure for the Virus. The Doctor was in full swing and couldn't have been more happy with his results.

Patient #4624 has found peace in that the cycle does end and the universe can be at peace. Inconsistencies were not found in the patient's behavior not was it found in their proposals about the story. Their claim that it might take place in Hell is an accurate one and that time has been mishandled might be the case. I can say without a doubt that this Patient will be fine long enough for me to develop a cure.

Patient #4624 was fine until the Doctor continue experimentation a new patient.

Patient #2:

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Patient #2 was a restless subject that killed Patient #4624 and fled into the mountain seen in the above photo. The Patient resembled all of the inconsistencies that the previous patients endured.

After Patient #2 killed Patient #4624, I had no choice but to open fire on Patient #2. It escaped my dorm and fled into the Mountains... What have I done? Allowing him to escape and allowing the virus to infect me. I have choice but to end this as soon as possible. My final Patient must be the patient that ends it all.

Patient #6:

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Patient #6 failed to inhibit the curing properties that Doctor Ivanov had hoped for. Instead, the inconsistencies were at a record high and remained there for the entirety of the testing.

completely agreed with Patient #6 that there was an Ancient Evil. That Element 115 was not the only reason but a super natural force lingered! It all makes sense now! The Cathars, the Inquisitions! The Dead Sea scrolls! I can finally provide competent evidence!

Soon after the writing, Patient #6 revealed that the story is all a game being played by a little girl and her friend. All the characters and all the stories that we had gone through was false. All a little girl's imagination.

Patient #165:

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After being told that the whole story was a lie, Doctor Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov fell into the Madness that was the T-Virus. His writings show how far he had fallen.

It seems that there is an interdimensional force at work that seeks to disrupt time and space. A squid-like creature with tentacles and alien-like origins. It seems that we must discover Cocoons and listen to voices that speak as we kill zombies. It might be that there are three states for the sword or maybe even more. There might be more to the solo easter egg as well. No amount of proof can be given to support this claim but that isn't what this is about. This about me. It's about me speaking without using my brain. It's about that Type 99 in the Help wall.

This concludes our look at the origins of the T-Virus and how it effects its subjects. Beware, for if you see your friend is showing the same traits then you might already be infected as well!

-The End

Edited by DrVonstool
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