Mr. Jay

Hi, it's the boring guy.

My skills are nowhere near elite, but I consider myself fairly adequate. My road from a newbie to where I am currently is as rough as it gets. I have learned from many of my mistakes, and I have learned from some of the very best, including people on this site.

I play with randoms a lot, and often with bad randoms to patch my revives. Along the way, I have picked up a few eager, humble, and teachable lads that look up to me. With only the Mustang and Sally plus a wall weapon, the 12 year old mighty virgin started a coalition. After many random games, the boring guy tree is branching off.

Here are a few feel good stories that I'm sharing. Why not? We have just about debated every angle, and this is new and hopefully fresh and interesting.

Jye-xxxx

A dude I befriended from a random lobby. He sucked initially, in a game I host quit after a game in which the thief took my pistol. He messaged me and called me a noob, and challenged me to a mano e mano first room challenge. We played many many games afterwards and I have along the way showed him how to play the game smarter and safer. He recently showed me his new high round of 35 on Five, thanks to my tutelage. He's no world class play by any means, but he certainly progressed a lot quicker than I did.

Minion-x

I hated this random initially, because he would blast his ray gun whenever he goes down, complicating my efforts to revive him. My help started when I messaged him to cease fire in that situation, and many little tips followed. He is still sluggish and careless in his ways, but he's capable of 30+ game at any moment. His favorite weapon now? Mustang and Sally.

Yomama-xxx

Imagine a game in which a12yr old virgin and Yomama dominated. For a while we would play together and troll little kids. I never gave him any tips, but he progressed nicely from watching me set up and prepare for rounds. He would ask questions, why Mustang and Sally? Why you rarely hit the box? Where do you hide? Look out for Yomama in random lobbies, he would remind you of another funny handsome charismatic guy you seem to know on CODZ.

How many of your disciples have grown under your help? How have they progressed with your guidance? What roles have you played in other people's growth?

I'm the boring guy, and thanks for reading my stories.

Very good intro Arcian, I wish more guys intro like you do.

Add me on PSN if you like, a12yr_old_virgin. I'm on mostly nights

Separate note: who the hell gave brains to Grill and BHS? Give me some too!

Very good post BestOfAllTime32.

Actually I didn't say I'm hoping for two one hit kill wonder weapons per map, I said a killing machine wonder weapon and a tactical wonder weapon. I agree that two WWs would be too much.

I hate big maps that are big for no reason, as you mentioned.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

I just have a simple question; "have you gotten lucky lately?"

No, I don't mean scoring with your lady friend or that skink you picked up at the AA, I mean getting all the right bounces beyond your capabilities in the game of zombies.

Playing this game long enough, you will find that besides being overwhelmingly skillful, you also need a great amount of luck. Some days it's the right people playing alongside you, some days it's the perfect executions of set strategies. Some days, it's just plain old luck. The type of luck that makes you feel invincible, beyond imagination.

Been playing Der Riese lately, just to get a break from Five. Been going between 20-28 in a handful of games without even sniffing my previous high of 35. Got into a game with randoms, 32, 32, and 20. Before we even hit round 10, I had two pre jug downs and both 32s had quit. "Just another shitty game going nowhere," I recall saying to myself. Just when I was ready to quit and watch porn instead, the game took a weird turn.

In my head I'm planing on which of my favorite porn stars I would watch perform for me, the rounds keep flying by and I realized I'm just a few rounds away from my high. Lucky box spins, timely drops, just about every lucky bounce I could have happened. I felt like Jack on Titanic going "I'm the king of the word!!!"

I can't begin to tell you how many times I set my mind to break a previous high, play flawlessly approaching my goal but go down on some unforeseeable crap. Not this time, I go flawless for 27 rounds and beat my previous high by 2 before I suicided on 37. (Actually I died but we agree to suicide after this round anyways.)

Have you gotten lucky lately?

P.S. If you thought my story suck then say so, I will refrain from sharing my stupid experiences and will try to post more immature childish penis jokes.

Hello sir.

I still play BO1 on PS3, add me.

a12yr_old_virgin.

My favorite maps are Five, Der Riese and Ascension.

Hello Mr. Cornhusker.

Add me on PSN, a12yr_old_virgin, we shall have a good time.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

We are still a good year away from the next zombies game, and at this point we can only speculate and suggest. Everyday we have people suggesting map locations or weapon ideas, to better market the next game. The boring guy thinks Treyarch should pay more attention to the gameplay to be successful, and less on the atmosphere.

Here are the details.

Give us options

My two least favorite games, COTD and Buried, offer little variety when it comes to gameplay. Every game on COTD has the same basic set up and same basic strategy, and the same could be said for Buried. Both maps offer little room for the players to try different things. As a result the maps get boring quickly. COTD would have been more popular with one more decent training location, plus a trap or two. Buried is a camping only map, would have been much better with a few training locations, plus a second wonder weapon designed for run and gun. Treyarch so far has had the one wonder weapon per map policy, with a few exceptions. I strongly feel the maps would benefit greatly with a second tactical wonder weapon. Let one wonder weapon be a killing machine, the other more of an effect weapon along the lines of Winters Howl or the shrink ray.

Bigger isn't better

I have heard time and time again how great maps like Tranzit and Moon are. Maps like MOTD and Origins are large detailed maps, but do not directly translate into more fun. In fact, all four big maps are in the bottom of my favorite list, because of their size. We waste so much time running from place to place that could have been more productive. Larger maps have the tendency to drag and last forever in between rounds.

Time is money.

Once major factor BO2 has over BO1 is the time consumption of the rounds. Sure we waste a ton of time waiting for the bus or the elevator, but killing zombies have never been faster and more furious. Stronger weapons that kill more quickly and efficiently contributed to it. Congested spawn locations and better flow will also help. When the game is faster, more can be accomplished. I don't mean make it easier, just faster.

Coop management

You look at the pain we endured from Shang and Moon, and the crap we engulfed in order to build the staffs, you have to ask "why?". I believe Treyarch has a pretty decent grasp of how co-op works, and they want you to find the joy within teamwork. What they need to do is reconfigure team concept, but rid of the many many many flawed teamwork gaffe. Teamwork should be a bonus, not a prerequisite. I rarely play coop on BO2, even though I enjoy coop more, simply because I cannot endure the pain anymore.

Leaderboards and ranking systems

Treyarch spend a ton of effort and money into the Leaderboards on BO2, but in my mind too flawed to be considered successful. There were many great new features, but also many new problems. I admit I was too conscious of my stats on BO2, taking away much fun from the game itself. A basic Leaderboard and less complex ranking system would suffice. On a separate but similar note, please take away bank and fridge.

Better quotes

Whoever was in charge of the quotations on BO2 should be demoted back to internship, because he was awful. BO1 quotes was cleverly basic and entertaining, BO2 was painful boring and stupid. I basically forgoe BO2 sounds altogether for music because it was nonchalant and irrelevant. Treyarch has always been clever with hidden quotes, IE Easter egg hunt and such, and they need to take another step reconstructing quotes into gameplay. Make interesting quotes, and interesting quotes that could potentially effect gameplay.

Thanks for reading, I hope more people agree, especially the guys at the 3 circles.

Mustang and Sally for me, every game.

Back in BO1 the Galil was head and shoulder above all other guns. After round 30 when ARs are ineffective, M72 will net you the most kills.

AN-94 on BO2 gets an even wider advantage. In some cases it get more kills than Ray Gun.

For a limited time, gamestop is offering $150 for you PS3 (120GB or up), or your Xbox (150GB or up) on a trade in for PS4 or Xbox One.

See store of website for details.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

I have not been very active lately, and I feel a disconnect between myself and the regulars. There is a good side of me that I rarely showcase, and I feel I'm ready to introduce that boring guy to you all. I'm hoping to earn some street cred from you guys, and perhaps get nominations for UOTM in the near future.

I am doing a dummie's guide to high rounds. No matter how insufficient your game is, my system is foul proof and capable of helping you set new personal highs. My system is so easy that you could take bathroom breaks and/or eat a sandwich while watching rounds fly by. I have done some "amazing" work in my time here, but this would easily trump them all.

Here is my step by step walkthrough on how to achieve new personal high rounds, and works with any map.

1. Be friend a world class zombie player, someone like Choppernator, Danishka, Way2ugly (formerly Way2g00d), and/or Boom.

2. Play a coop game with you new world class

3. Stay out of their way.

4. If you happen to go down, don't panic. Turn on your Mic and repeatedly yell "come get me I got ray gun". Pause the game and enter the following codes; up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, and watch yourself get magically revived. If you do not have B and A then do the sponge Bob giggle instead.

5. Once in a while just suicide and let them finish the round. While spectating make yourself a Reuben and drop a deuce.

6. Once you reach your new high, compliment on your team's effort and thank them for helping you.

That is it folks. Be sure to like this masterpiece.

Thanks for reading, enjoy your Thursday.

Mature content icon or section? I think there should be a color assciated with it, and everything i do will be coated 4 times with it.

I'm holding you to a thread about sex now, @

I think might be able to contibute. Perhaps just a little.

I wish I could say that I had a WR but I don't. =/

Arent you one of like 10 people in the world with 200+ rounds?

That would be considered World Record.

Anyways EyeCntSpel asked me to post his....sometime ago in Middle Earth....

Favorite Map: He cant decipher a map

Favorite Weapon: Olympia, its the only weapon you need to high rounds...

Highest Solo: He cant get a girlfriend

Highest Coop: In the living room with his cat. Meow!

Notables: His favorite player is the 12yr_old_virgin.

I'll be sure to try it.

I always jump non-stop while on the elevator, sometimes it seems to speed up, other times not.

I have noticed that the elevator by MP5 and the one behind Claymores that travels two levels are the quickest. Those two have less wait time than others.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

Today, I just have a simple question: your zombies resume.

It's been years since we first played zombies, and at this point we have probably reached our limit. If your skills have plateaued for a while now, it's unlikely that you would get much better. Everything you have achieved are likely tombstoned.

There are people like Chopper and Danishka who own world records. Then there are people like you and me who have some done things we are proud of, regardless how diminutive they are compared to others. Play this game long enough you will know that it takes skills, dedication, and an insane amount of luck to own achievements.

Your call of duty zombies resume:

Favorite Map: Five

Favorite Weapon: Mustang and Sally

Highest solo: 50 Die Rise

Highest co-op: 45 Five

NML: 243

Other notables:

Flawless co-op to Round 30 on Five, Ascension, Town, Die Rise, Buried.

Thanks for reading, be sure to post yours.

If no one replies then I will post bogus numbers for some notable members.

I go for sickle knife first.

I normally pick up MP5 to damage before I knife, until I generate enough points toward sickle. Afterwards I camp by AK74 until I get enough to turn on power and get jug.

My main set up is jug, QR, flopper, and mule kick. Get Mustang and Sally, an AR for George, and either Ray Gun or the Scavenger.

I camp at the bottom level of lighthouse or AK depending on George, but with the door closed.

This map is hard solo, and very time consuming. Not one of my favorites but I keep coming back to it because I still haven't gotten 8 perks.

Good luck.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

I'm not really a creative or fantasizing guy, but I'm sharing my ray gun ideas. I thought to myself, if one of my ray gun ideas make it into the next game, I would score big time with my son and his friends.

These are Ray Gun templates, each with special animations when zombies die.

Ray Gun: The Vaporizer

Clip/ Mag 10/90 Rate of fire 225

The ray gun vaporizer shoots rays similar to the original but vaporize zombies plus splash damage. It does 1550 damage, good enough to be one hit kill until 15, plus 550 splash damage.

Ray Gun: The Evaporator

15/105 450

Once PAPed it becomes the Evaporator. It works much like the original, but the zombies evaporate when killed. Does 5000 damage (one hit kill until 26), plus 1000 splash. It also fires faster than the original.

Ray Gun: The Ray of hope

15/90 850

It shoots out single ray passing thru all zombies in direct line of fire, slowing their movement by 15% once. It does 1000 damage per zombie, with 4x headshot multiplier.

Ray Gun: Ray of life

30/150 850

Just like ray of hope, only stronger. Ray of life now deals 2500 damage, and slows zombies movement by 20%.

Ray Gun: The unsung hero

10/40 500

Explosive shots with massive splash that do 0 harm to zombies, but decrease their health by 25%.

Ray Gun: The Savior

12/60 500

Same as the unsung hero, but now decrease zombie health by 50%, and cut their damage by 25%. Now it takes 5 hits to down with jug.

Ray Gun: The Imploder

12/48 125

Shoots out bubbles that stick to ground. Upon touched by zombies, explodes doing massive 1000 damage within radius.

Ray Gun: Weapon of mass destruction

18/64 125

Same as the imploder, but now does 1500, plus turning all damaged zombies into crawlers.

Ray Gun: The nagging wife

8/16 200

Creates a shrieking sound effect sending all zombies to the floor for 25 seconds covering their ears.

Ray Gun: The mother in law

20/40 200

Creates a shrieking noice sending all zombies running and gathering in a corner away from all players for 30 seconds. Zombies while running to the corner are one hit kill.

Ray Gun: The bounce

12/36 800

Shoots out 3 round balls that bounce off walls, doing 500 dmages to zombies enroute. Goes away after 10 bounces.

Ray Gun: The rainstorm

15/60 950

Shoots 3 round burst that bounce off Walls, doing 950 damage to zombies. Each additional bounce add anothet 50 rate of fire and 100 damage. Goes away after 15 bounces.

Thanks for reading, enjoy your Thursday. Hopefully at least one of my ray guns goes implemented.

The ball bounces faster and doing more damage until everyone on screen have been killed. Best used in small areas.

I kindly declined as I like to stay on top.

Hey, that's what I say a lot. Are you following me Jay?

 

Never leave us Jay. Your stories are the best. I would nom you for uotm, but I don't like people who pull out. : )

A man and women who both like to stay on top?  Lucky you aren't together, that wouldn't work so well.

 

Personally I like the bottom, I'm a little lazy

 

And pulling out is a bit schoolboy safetyish isn't it?  

 

Really sorry if I offend anyone, just couldn't resist! I prefer to be on top, but enjoy bottom with experienced women. I got enough tricks and moves to complement any girl.

To Samara: no offense to Slade, but I'm pretty confident I could show you a few new things, top or bottom.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

It's been 6 years since the release of WAW, 4 years since we tasted Kino, and almost 2 years since BO2. We have played zombies a gazillion times in thousands of ways. We have explored every little secret and dissected the maps every way possible.

In between each release, there are other notable games that caught our attentions, there have been changes in our lives, there are changes in our mindset that we see the games differently.

The question is, are we still playing zombies?

Since I started getting into zombies, I have not played another game. I have purchased MW 2 and 3 years ago, but have not even opened them. My passion for the zombies and desire for higher rounds have come to a screeching halt, yet I'm still killing them.

My passion for Five is not where it once was, but I still enjoy it with randoms. Once in a while I'll do Der Riese or Town, but Five is still my favorite by far. Not sure why such passion but I believe JFK and Fidel have something to do with that.

At this point I have no more goals, just pick up my controller and see where it takes me. I enjoy newbies as well as veterans, as long as the game feels different. I enjoy solo as much as co-op, as long as the games are not linear. I try different things to keep things fresh. I explore new territories to keep things interesting.

How about you? Do you still play zombies?

Hi, the boring guy here.

Play this game long enough, and you will understand why downs are the most important stat in zombies. Sure points and kills are fancy, but the best players are mostly likely to have the least amount of downs and keeping the game going.

I present you, the safest locations on all maps. With some preexisting conditions of course. Let someone else round up the zombies for you and blast away.

Kino- The back window by the power switch. If someone is running the stage, you will only need to watch one window. The back door closed.

Five- The window near the phone in the PAP. If someone is shooting from the long hallway inside the PAP, no one will come near you.

Ascension- If someone is running the lander pad, either window is fairly safe.

COTD- A bit tricky. Leave the boat to MP5 closed. If someone is running the spawn, you would get almost no action stand by the boat.

Moon- If someone is running the mule kick circle, standing by mule kick is pretty safe.

NDT- from the help room, stand on the steps with the debris closed.

Verrukt- Inside either one of the traps by the window.

Der Riese- Next to the catwalk by the window. Personally I prefer mule kick with someone running the Thompson.

Town- No easy spot here, but by M14 is normally safe.

Farm- No easy spot here, but the entrance to Farm is probably the best.

Die Rise- Top of the platform in the big room by AN-94.

MOTD- A few possible locations depending on who's running where. In the laundry by the washer, on the bridge in the back, or inside warden's office by the plane part.

Buried- On the roof where you fling yourself to the courthouse. With the paralyser fly above the general goods store with the back closed. Both require people camping by jug.

Origins- No good place to hide. Best to grab a staff and pray.

That's all folks. Please share with us your favorite safe spots.

Gonna revive this thread for a game I had on Sunday. Got to round 67 on Buried. While I was chuffed, all I wanted to so was get to round 70!

But that is a personal best by 9 rounds!

Sent from my D2303 using Tapatalk

Anyone crazy enough to pursue high round in Buried deserves a free copy of the next zombie game for their ability to fend off boredom.

I salute you sir.

Something I have been wanting to achieve before I completely put zombies away.

Reaching round 30 without downs on a few maps. So far got Ascension, COTD, Moon, Der Riese, Town, Die Rise, and MOTD.

Did Five tonight with Rizzy's help, perhaps the toughest to accomplish of them all.

Still want to do Farm, Kino and Origins.

Hi, it's the boring guy here.

Those that know me know that I like to make my points with real stories.

Here we go.

Was in a game with three Mic randoms on Five, high rounds 34, 35, and 38. I was told to turn on my Mic or they would leave. I did as told but noted that I'm not Mic friendly.

Why is having a Mic a priority? I feel that I can be just as reliable without Mic and have a great sense of feel for what should be done. My two best games on Five were with micless cooperative randoms who know how to play the team game. Besides, most Mic randoms deserve to be muted, and personally I enjoy the likes of Dane Cook, Russel Peters, and Chris Rock while playing. Real team players watch what you do and complement you, pretentious losers ask you to cooperate with them.

On round 5 I was asked to go down to the war room with them. I kindly declined as I like to stay on top. I did not see a major difference in where we camp on round 5. If you need me to babysit you this early, perhaps we should just end the game. On round 7 I was asked to join them as they are ready to turn on the power. At that point I had already opened the elevator debris (1000), but was asked to open two more for the simple fact that I had a lot more. I told them I would do one debris plus the Bowie door, but was replied with "what will you do with your points if we don't revive you?". I was told I was a jack ass for refusal to be generous.

One guy goes down early and quit as soon as he hit the floor. I shake my head when that happens.

Most of us know how to handle success. We know how to play when things are going well. But the true winners, the true gamers know how to handle failure. The best players, the most successful handle failure just as well. That's the biggest difference between a winner and a loser. The same hold true in real life. Not often do we see everything go smoothly. Those who adjust and adapt are likely to sit on top. I have rage quitted many times in my life, but never because I'm about to lose my ray run.

Thanks for reading. Maybe vote me for UOTM. Just kidding.

Hello MegaAfroMan.

I have always respected you as a person and valued your priceless opinions. Your partially excellent post today was statistically perfect in portraiting our experiences as a survivor in the world of zombies. It geometrically analyzed us in the trenches hoping to forever save the world. Your ability to see the big picture will one day empower you over other nerds.

But your bologna is lacking the truth.

Doing the same crap everyday and hope for better results is the ultimate American Dream. A guy on the 4th date may not get lucky, but it's the possibility that it may happen that drives him. An athlete on a shitty team may be optimistic about the upcoming season, even though the chances are slim. It is the hope, the unknown, that secretly fuel our curiosity and our drive to do the same shit tommorrow.

Every game we play, it is the failure, not the result, that drives us. Everytime we falter, we light another match in our fire of desire. Everytime we stumble, we add propane to our fire of desire. It is the emptiness that make us come back to another game, not fulfillment. You play the game again for the process, not the result.

I expected better from you, but this misstep will only make you stronger, and wiser.

The boring guy.

I am married to Mustang and Sally.

It is the best situational weapon in all of zombies.

I like many of the ideas presented. However, I'm hoping Treyarch go back to the simple yet fun concept from BO1.

Before the release of BO1, many people, myself included, wanted to see less teammate dependency and Treyarch made it happen for us. What we didn't envision, was that BO2 became too much of a solo game game that it was a lot less entertaining than BO1, at least for me.

Origins and MOTD are arguably the two most complex and detailed maps to date, but probably among the two least fun coop maps.

I would love to see Treyarch go back to the simple team concept gameplay we saw in BO1. Camping together, playing alongside, or strategizing together trying to survive.