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Heyo, CoDz family. I am 4 days late, but you know what they say: If life gives you a delay make lemon juice.

 

Just wanted to check in with you fine folks and read what life has in store for you folks in 2019. Of course more zombies content, but if you feel like it, then you can also write about your life.

 

The past six months have been very quiet for me, which was a nice change of pace cause 2014 til 17 have been very grueling for me. From what it looks like I will be able to properly start to work this year, though I am scared as hell about that. More specifically about not being able to deal with the people around me and setting the bar too high for myself which only leads into disappointment, but I will try my best.

 

Other than that I became a two time uncle this past year, cause my brother got a baby girl and seing both little children experience Christmas is truly something beautiful.

 

I am looking forward to KH3 and the new Star Wars episode this year and Sekiro. Other than that I have no expectations for 2019, cause it will be shit anyway. haha Unless BO IIII keeps geting good maps. haha

 

I don't have much more to say other than thanks for sticking with us.

 

ily

 

xoxo

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Happy new year everyone! Hope everyone out there has a nice time and if not, no worries, things will get better. You know what they say: Its always the darkest before the dawn.

 

Personally I find myself in a dip of life at the moment. Never thought ending a relationship and losing your beloved one would be so painful. Frankly, last month I couldnt think of anything else which kinda ruïned my Christmas etc. The thing that's keeps me rollin' is the idea that she has a good life now and well, as I said, for me too things will het better. But I think right now I would prefer hard physic pain than this psychological/emotional pain.

 

This year.... Last year I became a blood and stem cell donor (though that last one I have never donated yet) and continuing this medical aid to people around me this year I would like to master First Aid. The Netherlands have a shameful small amount of people mastering this, compared with our neighbouring countries, so I figured out I could help. So far this is my only New Year's good intention. Along with forgetting the emoticons  and picking life again.

 

Love you all, and keep doing that fam☺️

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I had my first new year's eve at my own place, and it was amazing. I live right in the heart of town, so there were fireworks all around! Apparently there was a fight too right in front of the door (the house I rent my rooms in is owned by the owner of the cafe/restaurant that becomes a nightclub in the weekends next door so sometimes fights happen), but I didn't notice any of it, and neither did the friend I had over. I had a terrific new year's, and it was the first one since the past years. I've been through really dark times in 2016, used nearly all of 2017 for therapy and recovery (all mental stuff, nothing physical). For the rest of 2017 and all of 2018 I just spent time recovering more. And in september last year I moved out, and (finally!) graduated, so I'm in this weird but refreshing positive momentum. So to have such a good time in my own place was pretty moving, actually. Just thinking about how far I've come, and all with my own strength. That also goes for the friend I had celebrating with me. I'm proud of her and of myself!

The only goals I have for now is to keep going with the recovery process, and to keep the good momentum going! I also want to go to college to get a bachelor's degree in game art, and keep learning how to design things properly, how to design characters and props and areas, the whole kit 'n' kaboodle. I want to learn more, and keep learning.

 

I hope work will be going smoothly for you Lenne, and congrats on becoming an uncle again!

And I hope that things will be looking up for you soon, Anonymous. Heartbreak is the worst feeling.

Good luck to you both!

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Glad to hear that about recovery, my Drentse friend, I have great respect for that. Support your friend in everything and make it a great and unforgettable year. Followed by a great life.

 

When Im down I deel like doing stuff that helps the someone/thing. Like that blood donating thing or simply giving birds some bread in the winter. The odd thing is that it gives me even more satisfaction when doing something good without anyone else knowing it. Just to create some kind of self respect or something. Oh, and playing a music instrument helps me as well. It brings my mind somewhere else (some people have that's with sporting). Recently I started to sing along while playing a song on piano, though that is hard for a 18y/o guy who always only sang in a pub while he was drunk. Slowly things are improving, though. Finally, I can find rest in composing music sheets. Or at least start composing them. While I am terrible in creating music myself I am arrogant enough to say that I am fairly good in playing a song out of my head by merely listening to it (so without sheet). From this I create (simple) piano sheets my self. 

Quote

 

 

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It's refreshing to know that we all face trials in life...misery loves company, maybe? Ha.

 

I was going to post all my troubles, to make you all feel better, but it was way too depressing.

 

Live, love, and be wise! Think for yourself, question authority.

 

Happy 2019 zombones!

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47 minutes ago, 83457 said:

It's refreshing to know that we all face trials in life...misery loves company, maybe? Ha.

 

I was going to post all my troubles, to make you all feel better, but it was way too depressing.

 

Live, love, and be wise! Think for yourself, question authority.

 

Happy 2019 zombones!

I do hope though that you have some folks to which you can talk.

 

You deserve that.

 

@Steelie congrats on having your own place. I also want to have one maybe in 2020. Gotta take one step at a time. And huge congrats on graduating.

 

@anonymous Sorry to hear that. It is also kinda ironic how you wrote this one year after we were talking in the 2018 thread about you telling that person that you loved her. That is how it goes sometimes. Truth be told I am tripping major nutsack right now, because I feel like my threads are responsble for that. I need some sleep I think.

 

Thanks a bunch for responding fellas. This is why I love this stupid site. :') 

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1 hour ago, Lenne said:

@anonymous Sorry to hear that. It is also kinda ironic how you wrote this one year after we were talking in the 2018 thread about you telling that person that you loved her. That is how it goes sometimes. Truth be told I am tripping major nutsack right now, because I feel like my threads are responsble for that. I need some sleep I think.

This actually gives me hope you know. I remember that last year, and while that was more like my crush and this time it is someone I eternally love and have everlasting memories with, shared emotions, etc, this suffering too will end one day. Truth to be told, the previous lovepain only stopped because I felt in love with someone new: My ex. That combined with the fact I love(d) my ex way more than my crush, I think this pain might last longer. 

 

Its interesting actually, I met a girl at a club last week and we had a good evening. The morning after I noticed I had less pain in my heart, though later it came back. Showed me how quick heartbreak could lessen when I have an emotional talk with another girl.

 

The pain is nog only caused by the break of our relation. Its caused also by the fact that ever since the breakup (and shortly before) I am not myself to her. Seeing her while going out I can only be emotional, which is the reason she doesn't want to be friends anymore, unlike we said to each other when we ended our relation. I cant be fun to her anymore and I hate myself for that's. I really hope she will remember me like how I was

2 hours ago, 83457 said:

I was going to post all my troubles, to make you all feel better, but it was way too depressing.

I respect every deed you do, my friend. If you feel like to share it, though, you must so. I feel it relieves my heart a bit when I share emotional pain with others like I do right now and so might you. On top of that, there are more people here who might have had similar experiences you have had that might feel stronger when they know they are not alone. Choice is yours, but I love you. And you too @Lenne

 

If I said wrong things, In sorry. Its the alcohol. Buy it makes everything I say coming straight out of my heart.

1 hour ago, Lenne said:

This is why I love this stupid site. :'

Yeah, right?

 

EDIT: God I dont want to think of the memories with her anymore

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Thanks guys...

 

@Anonymous, remember the good and hold onto the fond memories. Do not let it turn your heart dark.

 

After 19 years, my precious and I split up (4.5 years ago). She and I are great friends and there is no enmity.

 

While conversely, 1 woman from 25+ years ago absolutely shit on my soul and that black stain still burns my heart every morning to this day.

 

So...love's a fickle bitch. Hold the good bits dear and avoid the burning black stain of unforgive-ness. 🙂

 

If your life was subject to only 1 love, it would get boring and you would die an ignoble death. Embrace the love, smile through the life lessons.

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@anonymous so the girl from 2018 is a different one with who you just broke up?

Sadly I can't really talk about being in a love relationship, or how to deal with a break up, but I can tell you that we are always here for you. ❤️

 

@RequixEclipse thank you for sharing that. Admirable that you pursue you dreams even after setbacks and it is great to see that your wife understands and supports you. But don't forget us, when you are at the top. 😛

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5 hours ago, Lenne said:

 

@RequixEclipse thank you for sharing that. Admirable that you pursue you dreams even after setbacks and it is great to see that your wife understands and supports you. But don't forget us, when you are at the top. 😛

@Lenne Id like to use the term by the great Bob Ross as "Happy Incidents" lol

 

Forget? Nonsense. There is no such place with out my fellow surviors. The sky has no limits and neither does the love I have for you all!♥️

Edited by RequixEclipse

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@RequixEclipse Happy new year to you too! 

 

People standing on the edge indeed need to know there is a purpose in their life. But you must also know about love. There is always someone in the world who loves you, even without you knowing it. Continuing in life makes you meet more people, some who also might love you. Some who might even love you in the well-known love way, but equally as important is that some might love you in the friendship way. Those are the people who are standing the most close to your heart. If you give up the Idea about purpose and continuation in your life, you'll never meet new people. 

 

Doesn't matter who you are and what you do. It is how you are that defines you. I have not nearly as much life experience as you buddy, but I know we all go through a path of great love and great emotional suffering. Its what is makes, human. In our heart we are all social beings. Its beautifull actually, if you think about it.

 

We're all here for ya, and I hope you are here for me as well. I need you :) Love you and let us all curse the autocorrection of the phone keyboards! <3

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Happy 2019 everyone!

 

It's been quiet on my end. Again, apologies - when I get busy, I keep my mind on one project at a time and unfortunately it means a total state of silence from other projects. That is changing by the end of the month (for realsies haha).

 

I'm glad to see everyone ready to thrive this year, and I can't wait to see how it plays out for you all! Each one of y'all is family to me and I'm totally supporting your growth, your lows, everything. 🙂

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My life has been crazy. Sorry I really haven't been on here at all in 2018. It was an insane year.

-I was studying for and taking 5 tests to become a licensed Architect. That was complete in September and is the biggest accomplishment of my life. 

-My wife got pregnant in the spring and we had little Naomi in November. So life since then has been much different.

-Multiple things broke on my house. Things from a tree falling on it to a poo pipe wearing out. 

 

On the video game end of things I casually played the WWII maps with a friend but not a whole lot. State of Decay 2 launched in May I think which has taken 160 hours of my playtime last year. 

I have always loved Star Wars but last year I really got into it. Watching youtube on it, reading the books, watching Rebels show, and playing Battlefront 2. Very excited for 2019 on the Star Wars front. 

 

BO4. I didn't buy it till Christmas and with baby I have little time to play. I haven't figured out how to pap on any maps yet (went in blind, found 3 of the 4 things on voyage tho) and look forward to many hours playing in the coming years. Definitely not getting IW's game this year, whatever it is. I am pretty much just going to be multiple months behind everybody in BO4. Boy is it a good game though. 

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@andydabeast Your year had been crazy! Taken care of the little one and enjoy being An Architect now! Also, hope lightning doesn't hit your House of something 😉

 

And@PINNAZ: Enjoy your over date Chicken curry

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