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The Meh

ZNN, Your #1 Zombies News Network! | "Back On Air!"

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[original post here]


JERRY: "Welcome back to the show, folks! My name's Jerry, and may we welcome you back to ZNN, your #1 source for all the news you need to hear in your zombie apocalypse! A lot's happened since we were last with you... mainly the fact that we're now airing in a realm outside the universe we were last contained in. Sounds confusing, I know. We've learned a lot ourselves, though! Right, Tim?"


TIM: "Yeah, Jerry... turns out that there's beings beyond humanity! Tentacle monsters out of Lovecraftian literature, practically... sources seem to call them 'the Apothicons'. Notwithstanding, another race lives to fight against them, an ancient order, called the Keepers... don't be mistaken, though! The Apothicons seem to be the bad guys... and we've got people lookin' to fight them off.


Wait, I thought I was the weather guy."


JERRY: "You are, Tim... there's not exactly many of us out there left to do the news. Just you and me."


TIM: "Right. I forget how low-maintenance this i-"



TIM: "Right! So, weather... it's actually quite nice. Sunny days abound, nice for a walk around the neighborhood. Come to think of it... the world's been that way for a while, since we entered it. Almost perfect, wouldn't you say, Jerry?"


JERRY: "I'll say, Tim! Alright, phone line's open, seems we got a caller! Hello, viewer?"

DR. MONTY: "...yeah... what in the world are you guys doing here?"


JERRY: "I don't quite... oh, Monty! Hello, what a pleasant sur-"


DR. MONTY: "No, I mean... why are you here? In my perfect world?"


JERRY: "Your questions are as good as ours... I thought you were the one who brought us here."


DR. MONTY: "No, no... or, well... yeah, that makes sense. If you're gonna do the news... can ya at least do it more conveniently? I'm sure Richtofen would love the spotlight..."


JERRY: "Good point... we'll consider that in our future ventures!"


DR. MONTY: "Now, wait a se-"


*hangs up*

JERRY: "It seems we're out of time, folks... next time you see us, we're gonna give you a taste of the action on the field! Other than that, I've been your host, Jerry... the guy who can't remember his last name... fun. Anywho, forget that. We'll see you next time on ZNN! The #1 source for all your now-multiversal needs for news in your zombie apocalypse! So long!"


*camera pans out*

TIM, quietly: "...did... did you just hang up on..."


JERRY, quietly: "Yeah... barricade the doors..."




Alright, that was a fun bout. I was reading through older posts and enjoyed the old ZNN, so... hey, I brought it back! Maybe I'll write a few in the future? I dunno. All for satire, though, guys. So... I'd wish that you guys don't take it seriously. Other than that, I really hope you guys enjoyed that.


I'll get back to writing other stuff, like Unity Series stuff soon enough!


In the meantime, though...

Per aspera ad astra!

-The Meh

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