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Epic one, this one's so much different than any chapter before. I guess Alone is a real fitting name, as we follow the little-speaking, suffering Nikolai here, without any real conversation. It sketches a realistic idea about the war: grey, cold, pain, loneliness. Oh and by the way, the part with those two boys, I just knew he would shoot them. It is awful, and I dont want him to but it fits well in the change Nikolai has made (also got that carpenter reference in the beginning :)). Its all bitterness now.

 

Another question: Are the seeable chapters on the teleportation menu the only Book1 chapters coming, or will there come more?

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55 minutes ago, anonymous said:

Another question: Are the seeable chapters on the teleportation menu the only Book1 chapters coming, or will there come more?

Glad you enjoyed! Yes, those 46 chapters + prologue and epilogue are my plans for Book 1 as a whole. But I do have another chapter planned that I want to put in somewhere, and when I get around to a planned chapter if I don’t feel like it will make a good chapter I may scrap some.

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1 hour ago, RadZakpak said:

Glad you enjoyed! Yes, those 46 chapters + prologue and epilogue are my plans for Book 1 as a whole. But I do have another chapter planned that I want to put in somewhere, and when I get around to a planned chapter if I don’t feel like it will make a good chapter I may scrap some.

Ah, I see. You know, I only see 27 chapters on my mobile device, so I was wondering already how you could put so much intel in only 4 chapters more. But 46 must be enough haha

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37 minutes ago, anonymous said:

Ah, I see. You know, I only see 27 chapters on my mobile device, so I was wondering already how you could put so much intel in only 4 chapters more. But 46 must be enough haha

Ah, I’ll need to update the mobile menu when I get the chance. I always forget.

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So with the release of Alpha Omega, there are of course going to be new additions to the story, and I knew that at least some of the changes would conflict with the story I planned on telling. Thankfully, it doesn't change a whole lot that is already written. Richtofen's story remains the same, but Alpha Omega did a lot with Cornellius Pernell and Peter McCain, two characters who previously had little to no known backstory so I saw fit to fill that in. I had a plan for where the two characters would eventually go narratively, but some of that is now changed.

 

For now, I'm going to designate the current Peter chapters as non-canon until I can find a clear path I want to take with them and the ones I had planned. I was afraid with his revival by Pernell and immediate joining of Broken Arrow that Peter would turn out to be just a follower and not someone who would do anything for the greater good. But that quickly changed as he reported his old friend to the DoD as he was clearly a danger to those around him.

 

Anyway, initially my plan with Peter was going on a few missions in Europe before ultimately preparing to infiltrate Group 935. His mission was to learn what he could about the Wunderwaffe and progress on the undead army. After being transferred to the Verruckt facility, he would discover that Group 935 is barely in control and call for Pernell to send the extraction team. Only then does Pernell reveal that his mission is actually to recover an Elemental Shard that scientists as the asylum are using to try and control the dead. Peter believes it should be destroyed, but is ordered by Pernell and his superiors that that is the priority over anything else. Peter is subsequently captured, however the outbreak worsens and Peter breaks free, losing his arm in the escape. He commandeers a plane and receives the last transmission from Pernell telling him to rendezvous at the Rising Sun Facility. As Peter prepares to jump with the shard and the experimental Mk 3 weaponry, he decides to the shard is better off in no one's hands, leaving it on the plane as he parachutes down. Unfortunately the chute malfunctions and he dies having destroyed the shard.

 

In Book 5, Peter awakens in a city surrounded by fire. There are winged beasts flying through the sky, and he is on the ground, his parachute having been activated. He comes to realize he is in Stalingrad, and is soon chased inside a building by the undead. They are too strong and break inside, not before he sees a bright flash of light and feels his body becoming weightless. He awakens again in what looks like a castle made of stone. The open sky is exposed, but there are no clouds. Only a bright, blue orb in the sky surrounded by stars. He hears voices, yelling, shooting, explosions. He grabs his weapon, exploring the ruins, before discovering it is connected in some way to a building made of wood. He steps inside, revealing a massive auditorium, a theater. As he gazes upon the projection screen, memories flood into his mind: There's a pain around his neck, a gasping for air. He sees himself hanging from a rope, his arm missing. Four men are looking at him as he swings limply. Again he feels weightless, and there is a flash. All he sees is utter blackness, before finally, he falls to a stone street.  There's Jazz music in his ears, and there are hundreds of people walking along the sidewalks around him. The air is cool and the night sky illuminated by the street lights. The people's faces, however, are blank. No features whatsoever. None of them speak. Just walking. Peter follows the source of the music and finds himself in a club. The people within this club have faces, all smiling and chatting away as they drink. There is a lone couple dancing in the center of the club, slowly. An older, bald man with a white beard, and a young brunette in a dress. Peter, still wearing his marine uniform covered in dirt and soot steps up to the couple, who stare at him, confused. The room fades as the couple approach Peter. They reveal themselves as Dr. Maxis and Sophia. Peter says he was told to find Dr. Maxis, and asks him where they are. He reveals that they are inside the Summoning Key. 

 

Inevitably, The Great War, now the Final War begins to defeat Doctor Monty with Primis and Ultimis leading the charge. They would enlist the help of former associates across dimensions, including SOPHIA, Maxis, and Peter from within the Key. I won't go into all that since it doesn't seem to be going that way, but Peter would reunite with Pernell... who I didn't think would turn out to be a bad guy, but hey...

 

So yeah, anyway, I'll probably focus on finishing Richtofen and Maxis' journeys, and then worry about Peter, if at all. I might just delegate Peter to side material for the sake of length and consistency.

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Too bad this story wont be realized anymore...it even somehow made the creation/dissolation of fractures seem epic, as Peter sorta fell right into it and then spitted out of it. But yeah, upon reading the radios about Peter and Pernell, one of my first thoughts went to the storybook. Peter saying all those 'yes sir's', like a real obeying soldier, and Pernell being power hungry instead of a clumsy helper of Peter and new member of the CIA... Thanks for sharing anyway, and the idea for a seperate 'side'-story of a person sometimes popping up in several books is good.

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Hey everyone, it's been a while... again. Truthfully I kind of lost my mojo with this story for a while, and it took a long time for me to get back into it. But, I have good news:

 

1. I have gone through all 23 chapters and edited them for a combination of clarity, consistency, and continuity. Gone are many grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. I also made sure that things previously unclear in my writing should make a little more sense, and there shouldn't be anymore continuity errors with certain characters. For example, recently I've gone into how Schuster studied Chemistry heavily, and it is his passion, yet I forgot that in early chapters I say Schuster doesn't know much about Chemistry, and Groph does. Now Schuster loves Chemistry the whole way through.

 

2. I am also introducing a new concept to the structure of the book: Story Scraps. These Scraps will be short messages, letters, or diary entries placed between chapters to add some depth to the world or shine a spotlight on minor characters without taking up more space in a normal chapter. Currently, I have added only three, and one is simply a Schuster diary entry that used to be a part of the main chapter, and two are data servant entries. I have several others planned, some even between chapters already written, so look forward to those.

 

3. I have had issues with updating the storybook through this site, and while that is currently being worked on, I have made a google doc for the storybook with handy navigation tools, and you will have the ability to comment anywhere on the page to ask me to add more clarity or fix errors. Here is a link to the doc. Don't worry, this is not the version I will be working on, so go crazy adding what you want! Go here for the version with all the updates for now.

 

4. Chapter 24 is being written right now! I will add it to the doc once it is ready.

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Believe it or not, Chapter 24: "Pygmalion" is finally ready to read. I put in several hours trying to update the site version of the Storybook, but it is still way too finicky and I need a better solution for copying over the updated chapters. For now, check out the newest version of the Storybook here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/119PjSqvTF3pVxpt7SW2YC9AXeOYYVObOCDe-zwwqfL0/edit?usp=sharing

You can click to view the latest chapter using the outline on the left. With the doc you can also add comments on the right, so if I've made any mistakes, let me know. I hope you guys enjoy, as it felt good to come back and finish!

 

I know it's been a while since I've updated, so if you are new and have not read any of the Storybook, check out the OP for more info and read from the link I posted above.

 

I also went back and updated Chapter 16: "I Will Build My Church" to fit the new information we have about the Angola excavation and finding Jeb Brown's work.

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The difference about the original fate of Sophia and the fate in the Agonia fracture is interesting. You really play with the suspence for the readers, and it shows how close she was to death. Also quite ironic how she leaves Group 935, in oposition to how she stayed and kept loving Maxis when she was a robot, in an alternative reality

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18 hours ago, anonymous said:

The difference about the original fate of Sophia and the fate in the Agonia fracture is interesting. You really play with the suspence for the readers, and it shows how close she was to death. Also quite ironic how she leaves Group 935, in oposition to how she stayed and kept loving Maxis when she was a robot, in an alternative reality

Suspense is what I was going for by playing with expectations. I was never quite sure if the S.O.P.H.I.A. robot was limited to only the fracture, which I believe she is now, but I don't believe this version of Maxis would do such a thing, despite how low his life has gone. He's dug himself in too deep, and now he wants nothing else than a quick escape to restart his family life.

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New chapter! Chapter 25: Eviction: https://docs.google.com/document/d/119PjSqvTF3pVxpt7SW2YC9AXeOYYVObOCDe-zwwqfL0/edit#heading=h.pokbj05d74l8

 

I cut the original Chapter 25: Heart of the Reich, another Peter-focused chapter because it just didn't quite fit in with the story I want to tell. Eviction is Peter-centric, but much more laid-back and dialogue heavy. Next chapter, Judgement Day, has potential to be one of my favorites, whenever I do eventually decide to write it.

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I like it how Pernell's character is so much different than the sort-of prototype of this chapter (the one that is deleted now). While for sure, this version is closer to how Pernell's character appears to be according to the Alpha Omega radios, I actually liked your own, initial, clumsy version of him.

 

Anyway, good chapter! Like the McCain-Dempsey-Gale thing

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7 hours ago, anonymous said:

I like it how Pernell's character is so much different than the sort-of prototype of this chapter (the one that is deleted now). While for sure, this version is closer to how Pernell's character appears to be according to the Alpha Omega radios, I actually liked your own, initial, clumsy version of him.

 

Anyway, good chapter! Like the McCain-Dempsey-Gale thing

When I initially decided to do chapters with Peter and Cornelius I imagined them having a similar relationship to Archer and Cyril from the show Archer, where Archer/Peter is a capable spy who is an asshole and shows no respect for anyone while constantly making jokes on the job, while Cyril/Cornelius is a man behind the scenes who is pathetic and gets no respect from anyone. Over time I drifted away from that after that first chapter I wrote, partially because it was so derivative, and also because I wanted Peter to contrast Richtofen as the more moral and everyman type main character and the way I originally envisioned him was not very likable. It also just didn't fit tonally. Alpha Omega further reinforced the new Peter by making him sound like a very caring, loyal person. I also like Cornelius much more as he is now.

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Two beautiful chapters. Spoilers alert for those who haven't read it yet, but I feel like this is the absolute end of Richtofen's sanity. After the incident with the Electric Trap that initially seemed to have pushed the Apothicans away, Richtofen finally finding himself to think clear again, but they appeared to be back, constinuing driving him crazy. The stress, the paranoia for spies. And now this: his first direct murder, not on a regular testsubject but on someone he finally started to trust, to befriend. 

 

The moments of Richtofen's insanity approaches: the moments he uses Samantha and Ultimis for cruel experiments. The moment his lust for blood, his joy in death, his character we encounter in the games, come closer. While his mental breakdown, his downfall, has been going on for some years now I knew there must have been one moment, one action or event, that would drive him mad. The flipping point, if you will. I feel like we've reached that point now

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Reminds me a bit of the movie 'the Last Samurai', where the Emperor agrees in changing Japan to Western standards in order to "modernize" the nation, abandoning the old culture and traditions. Damn I got shivers down my spine when reading that reference to Unit 731's frostbite experiments, and it was cool to see the Raygun being used not as a fun weapon to zombies but for what gruesome function it actually original had: killing men. Horrific.

 

 

By the way, what happened with chapter 12 - 17, including my favourite chapter '....I will build my Church". Seems like they are still in the doc but not in the chapter lis

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9 hours ago, anonymous said:

By the way, what happened with chapter 12 - 17, including my favourite chapter '....I will build my Church". Seems like they are still in the doc but not in the chapter lis

I'll check on that! Probably something to do with me copying the whole doc I have into this one since I made some minor grammar changes to previous chapters.

 

Edit: Fixed now.

Edited by RadZakpak
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That part those zombies came marching on the podium was really unnerving, I could really vizualize that. Curious to what your further involvement of Die Spinne will be, as this is an area officially never touched by Treyarch.

 

It's admirable how you make every chapter of this story that I thought to know so well so unpredictable! Also, gotta taste a Blowtorch soon!

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