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Here is the next chapter, Little Resistance. It follows Peter McCain in his earlier missions as a Marine in the Pacific front. https://www.callofdutyzombies.com/story/book1ch14/

 

WARNING: This chapter takes place during an event known as the Bataan Death March. It was a war crime by the Japanese in which thousands of American and Filipino forces were forced to endure six days of walking to a train station in San Fernando, where they were then packed into trains and shipped to cruel internment camps. This chapter has some brutal death based on real life atrocities committed by the Japanese during the march, so if you are faint of heart, read carefully, and I understand if you cannot read any further. I will put up a disclaimer for chapters like this. There is humor in this chapter, as Peter is meant to be a man who uses humor to cope with pain and stress, but this is not meant to downplay to importance of this real life event.

 

 

As another note, this chapter is a bit shorter than some previous chapters, and while writing it I was doing a lot of reformatting of my plans for each chapter in this book. I kept trying to cut out chapters to have an average page length more like that of a real novel, as if I keep the chapters as long as they have been the book would be much too big. But then I thought, I really shouldn't be doing a disservice to this story by omitting so much, especially since I am posting it here where there is no limit. From now on I am going to ignore any thoughts about a chapter being too short/too long or being unnecessary to the overall book because if I try to think too far ahead I will end up stifling what I can do with this story. Of course, if I ever did release a physical version of this book, I would change a ton, and write a whole second draft that is more concise, or I would split it up into two books. But for now, I'm going to remain somewhat unpredictable.

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A very unexpected chapter, I like it! Also, I adore the fact that it is (as is your entire Storybook, of course) based on real events, and the occurance of Takeo's father. 

1 hour ago, RadZakpak said:

As another note, this chapter is a bit shorter than some previous chapters, and while writing it I was doing a lot of reformatting of my plans for each chapter in this book. I kept trying to cut out chapters to have an average page length more like that of a real novel, as if I keep the chapters as long as they have been the book would be much too big. But then I thought, I really shouldn't be doing a disservice to this story by omitting so much, especially since I am posting it here where there is no limit. From now on I am going to ignore any thoughts about a chapter being too short/too long or being unnecessary to the overall book because if I try to think too far ahead I will end up stifling what I can do with this story. Of course, if I ever did release a physical version of this book, I would change a ton, and write a whole second draft that is more concise, or I would split it up into two books. But for now, I'm going to remain somewhat unpredictable.

Not sure what you mean here. I mean, it is totally normal for a book to have not-equal chapters, right? If you would produce a physical version (which would be, for real, AWESOME and I would definately buy it), why couldn't it have non equal chapters?

 

One critique thing: In many chapters you are the devil in the details: describing how beautifull or gruesome the environment, a room, a person's expression, whatever is. This chapter does have that, but in a lesser degree than usual. I imagine the group walking through Filipinese jungle or whatever, with bodies on the edge of the muddy road or something, but thats up to the imagination of the reader (which has is charms as well). Perhaps lots of people like this 'faster' way of storytelling, but I'm more a guy for the details

 

Btw also love your great metaphores, memories, life lessons and other 'short stories' in your story. This intro reminds me of the intro of the 'Hemlock Philosophy' chapter

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2 hours ago, anonymous said:

Not sure what you mean here. I mean, it is totally normal for a book to have not-equal chapters, right? If you would produce a physical version (which would be, for real, AWESOME and I would definately buy it), why couldn't it have non equal chapters?

 

I should explain better, I don’t necessarily mean that they should all be equal, but a majority of my chapters are about 3000 words, which is normal as for novels the are between 2500-5000. But novels like that tend to be 22-25 chapters, and cutting out stuff I deemed uneccesary, my current outline has Book 1 being 50 chapters plus a prologue and epilogue. With an average of 3000, that is 156,000 words. According to articles I have read, a majority of first sci-fi novels in a series are around 100,000. Any more than that and you lose interest in any publishers reading through it.

 

That’s not to say a novel can’t be that long. One Harry Potter novel is 257,045 words, and The Fellowship of the Ring is 187,790, but those books were written by already established authors.

 

Anyway, don’t worry, I won’t be holding back on gory details and encompassing the whole story as I will not be concerning myself about word count. But if I ever did want to adapt this into an original story and publish it, it would require heavy editing.

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Greetings! Here is Chapter 15: "Hard Landing". Peter McCain must now enact the daring escape plan with stolen documents that could change the tide of the entire war.

 

I must say, I was not looking forward to writing this chapter after Little Resistance, because I didn't really have any idea how I wanted it to play out. I just knew I needed Peter to escape and get to Corregidor. But I actually quite enjoyed this one, and it felt like writing an Indiana Jones adventure in a way. I'm hoping Peter's character pans out well, as he is my first attempt at a main character who did not already have a personality established in the lore. I have big ideas for his future.

 

NOTE: There is a minor scene of brutality in the beginning, not quite as bad as the last chapter, but might still be too much for some. Again, the Bataan Death March was a real event and the severity of the war crimes should be remembered. This is a work of pure fiction, and in no way is meant to downplay to reality of the situation. These characters are not based on real people.

 

Also, in other news, I have updated Chapter 1: "Danke Schoen" of Book 2. The story is pretty much the same, but I have tweaked a few minor things, as well as completely overhauling the dialogue with Richtofen and the voices in his head. I spent some time recently outlining where Book 2 is headed, and while it is not final until the Aether story is complete (Damn you and your new deep lore, Treyarch!), I know that I want the voices to serve as an antagonist in Book 2 rather than assisting Richtofen. I think the new version is much better.

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I want you to know that I, unconsioussly, always really look forward to new chapters. I admire your speed with writing the last ones. When I see a chapter is released, I struggle with being patient and wait till a good moment for reading it. Finally, I find a soft spot on the sofa, get a glass of water and enjoy the new stuff.

 

The titles are really well chosen, if you know the background. Of course, 'Hard Landing' is a WaW mission, but it is the mission that includes the NDU airfield, and funnily enough McCain and Hilario also get on an airport this chapter. And finally, it refers to the crash of the plane (spoilers alert). Love that last (repeating) sentence of Hilario and your humour.

 

As a side question: Was writing a chapter in which was fighted against living soldiers much different than writing about fighting against undead ones?

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1 hour ago, anonymous said:

 

As a side question: Was writing a chapter in which was fighted against living soldiers much different than writing about fighting against undead ones?

Definitely! Living people are much more interesting in some ways because there are many responses one can have to being attacked, while a zombie just keeps going until it has nothing left. On the other hand, zombies allow for more brutal and creative deaths without the question of morality. It really comes down to a chapter’s tone and the character we are focusing on. I am sure Tank Dempsey takes much more pleasure in killing the undead.

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3 hours ago, RadZakpak said:

On the other hand, zombies allow for more brutal and creative deaths without the question of morality

So I was recently thinking about this, concerning a real zombie apocalypse. Since I live in a village I would know alot of zombies, previously friends, family and other fellow-villagers. In a war you fight against your enemies (which are, of course, mostly just as normal people as I am, but the 'bad guys' in my eyes). In a war against the undead you would fight the victims, among who people you know. I might prefer to die than to kill them.

 

Abvipusly, I'm going too deep into this. A zombie apocalypse would be impossible, as a virus is impossible to be both extremely infectious, as well as being capable of occupy the mind, and the world of science not being able to predict these mutations etc

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To be fair, I think this is my favourite chapter thus far. It has kinda zero correlation with known events in the Story, while it is completely canon and explains quite some small things (Group 601, Monty's nudges, Schrieker zombies). But that is not the only reason I like it, it is the whole thing that hangs in the air.

 

- The father who sacrifices for his child, the villager who sacrifices for Richthofen, Richthofen's story about the Hitlerjugend kid and his mentality in general: Great. It pictures some bittersweet sphere.

 

- A reminder that zombies aren't fun, easy to kill enemies as they are in game. This attack in the mines was really gruesome and kinda well fitting in a sci-fi horror movie. I could really see the picture in front of me (and the sound of screaming undead and humans).

 

- The play of characterisms. I'm really fund on Richthofen's idealism, and even more fund on the slowly change the world around him makes his mind do. That story with the Hitlerjugend once again reminds us that Richthofen sometimes lacks empathy in a way, without him wanting it. I also like how you made the reader exactly understand what kind of person Schuster is.

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3 hours ago, Didact said:

Whoa..really good work dude, keep it up!

I have a little question...and I really hope the answer will be yes.

 

Have you any form of plan to make the Chaos StoryBook?

I would kill to read it!

Let me (us) know !

 

It's certainly possible years down the road! For now I want to focus on Aether since the story is coming to an end, and it will take a long time before it is complete. But if by then I really enjoy where the Chaos story is headed I would write one for it.

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5 hours ago, Lenne said:

I really hope that will be the case, cause you really deserve the closure. 

 

❤️

You and me both. I just get this sneaking suspicion as I spend hours working on these chapters that I'm going to have to make a major rewrite after these new maps release... I'm sticking to Pre-World at War content for now in the hopes not much of that is revealed, but any question could be answered at any moment or any existing character completely ruined. I got really lucky with Classified that it seemed to fit with my plans very well to develop Pernell more, and Schuster's character in radios is still consistent with my work. I just hope Treyarch can hold off on answering SOME questions so there is room to speculate even when it is all over.

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Just want to update that I have been working on the next chapter of Book 1, not up yet. I think I'm going to try and wait until I have a couple of chapters done before uploading. Because I tend to finish one, upload, then just wait a while before beginning the next one because of the satisfaction of posting about a new one. Also I'm a bit anxious as we get further in to the real meat of the story because so much could change with the next two DLC's lore wise. Summer is almost here so I should have a good amount of time to get a good portion of Book 1 done.

 

In the meantime, I want to ask, what are some side stories that you guys want explored that I can work on when I'm not really feeling like working on the main story? I'd like to revisit the Attack on the Pentagon and Whispers of Morg City to update them with new lore, but there may be more stories I am not thinking of that would make for a good short story to tie into everything else. I think if the Marvel Cinematic Universe has taught me anything it is that if you want a big interconnected universe with branching paths and teams of characters, you need to start with small and personal stories, which is what I hope to do with Richtofen's story in Book 1 before he becomes as important as he is.

 

Also, what do you think of Peter? I know I haven't written much of him yet, and the next chapter is about him, but what more do you want to know about him? How do you relate/not relate to him? Is he boring or intriguing? What situations can you see him in as a spy in the OSS?

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I remember some prior story-arc ideas (like the one about Mason in Vietnam) and felt they all had great potential. The best of those, however, I am of the opinion are Honor's Suffering and the one about the mysterious blacksmith in Nevada...

 

I once started writing a fan-made Storybook arc (of three chapters) about a CDC agent trapped in a neverending Grief loop, though I quickly stopped due to realizing I cannot write properly a book as well as my vocabulary is limited. But it might be an idea.

 

19 hours ago, RadZakpak said:

Also, what do you think of Peter? I know I haven't written much of him yet, and the next chapter is about him, but what more do you want to know about him? How do you relate/not relate to him? Is he boring or intriguing? What situations can you see him in as a spy in the OSS?

I was never really a fan of the over-the-top, brutal, simple-minded type of hero soldier Dempsey is, but McCain is kinda the opposite. He is softer, yet brave, funny (in a way better way than Dempsey) and has emphaty. I think it is a character alot of readers can relate to, as he seems one of the most 'normal' persons so far (not in a boring way, though). However, as with all characters, I like to see him having a soft spot/flaw or something. Perhaps one time he chooses for his own life above someone else, as it is the nature of human survival (however I absolutely dont see him as an egoist. Perhaps something else is better fitting). Eventually, Peter will die, as only a few main characters do. I hope that at that time, readers really live in him and are really saddened by the fact he dies. If you succeed in that, you are a pro-writer.

 

Another thing: A lot of the lore about Broken Arrow, CIA, Cold War, etc, happens on the background (not in a map). Perhaps some of them are fitting in parts of Book 2. Alot of it can be discovered in the early chapters of Book 3, at least.

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11 hours ago, anonymous said:

I remember some prior story-arc ideas (like the one about Mason in Vietnam) and felt they all had great potential. The best of those, however, I am of the opinion are Honor's Suffering and the one about the mysterious blacksmith in Nevada...

 

I once started writing a fan-made Storybook arc (of three chapters) about a CDC agent trapped in a neverending Grief loop, though I quickly stopped due to realizing I cannot write properly a book as well as my vocabulary is limited. But it might be an idea.

I think Honor's Suffering has a lot of potential and I may start writing it soon. Zetsubou has such a great atmosphere and the story I had planned would tie in so well to Primis' arrival to the island in Book 4. As for Jeb Brown, I really look forward to writing that one because its connections with the rest of the story are minimal and I did have some chapters planned out, I just needed to iron out a satisfying ending. With the Vietnam story I've debated placing some of that story as chapters in Book 2, I just have to work out some kinks with the timeline and how I will want that book to be structured.

 

Definitely something Grief-related would be very interesting. I have something similar planned for Book 3 with the Victis crew proving themselves against another group of survivors to win Richtofen's favor, but with completely unknown characters could prove interesting, and maybe set up some of the backstory behind Green Run before Victis' arrival. I would certainly like to see some of the ideas you had for your creation.

Quote

I was never really a fan of the over-the-top, brutal, simple-minded type of hero soldier Dempsey is, but McCain is kinda the opposite. He is softer, yet brave, funny (in a way better way than Dempsey) and has emphaty. I think it is a character alot of readers can relate to, as he seems one of the most 'normal' persons so far (not in a boring way, though). However, as with all characters, I like to see him having a soft spot/flaw or something. Perhaps one time he chooses for his own life above someone else, as it is the nature of human survival (however I absolutely dont see him as an egoist. Perhaps something else is better fitting). Eventually, Peter will die, as only a few main characters do. I hope that at that time, readers really live in him and are really saddened by the fact he dies. If you succeed in that, you are a pro-writer.

Peter is certainly intended to keep the reader grounded in reality with someone far more relatable than Richtofen, who while he starts with good intentions, he is a genius and you can't quite predict what he will do next. A problem I don't want to run into with Peter, however, is having his chapters just be about him finding out information we, the reader, already know and only by the end will he be caught up before he dies. People tend to dislike stories where the main character just goes through everything they already went through when learning about the world. So it is important that I find a way to have Peter learn things that Richtofen, nor the reader knows to keep things interesting. I also do not want to detract from the Richtofen story, as his and Peter's only intersect at one point near the end. Peter's story should have an impact on the entire series to justify him standing on the same level as Richtofen, Schuster, and Maxis as main characters in this story.

Quote

Another thing: A lot of the lore about Broken Arrow, CIA, Cold War, etc, happens on the background (not in a map). Perhaps some of them are fitting in parts of Book 2. Alot of it can be discovered in the early chapters of Book 3, at least.

I definitely have a lot of that planned for Book 2 and portions of 3. In Book 2 we will follow, along with Ultimis, Cornellius Pernell as he tries to create Broken Arrow, the threat of Samantha is realized, and as he heads Broken Arrow early in the Cold War. Portions of Book 3 involving Russman will be interspersed with flashbacks to his missions as an agent of Broken Arrow (Think Men In Black). For this reason alone I have thought of Russman as my favorite member of the Victis crew. So many years behind him he barely ever mentions...

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Howdy! I have added Chapters 17: "Semper Fi" and 18: "Pressure" to the site! Chapter 17 follows Peter, now invited to be a member of the American intelligence-gathering organization, the OSS. Chapter 18 follows Doctor Schuster as he and Doctor Groph discover something incredible regarding the MPD.

 

We're getting into the really gritty, fun bits of the story coming soon. I am really looking forward to it! I also added the names of upcoming chapters to the side bar mostly as a sort of code name system for me to keep up with what chapters are coming. They may or may not stay the same when I eventually write the chapters.

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An enjoyable thing to do on a hangover day. I'm curious to Peter's story, as very little of it is known (which, I can imagine, makes it only more fun to write about). Chapter 18 has a great play on the characters! In the early chapters, Groph was always a bit the 'black sheep' member, underrespected by Richthofen and Schuster, but his character has made a major change. Schuster slowly starts to realize he is surrounded by insanity and I can actually relate a lot to him. Richthofen....his character is still your masterpiece. An interesting past: idealistic and good as well as insane and mercyless.

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I havent had such a severe hangover for a long time, so glad to have my ultimate medicine ?

 

Looks like the Fall of Richthofen has began. So cool to see you've used the MPD sacrificial event as his mental turning point. I also like the way how he lost the voices for a moment prior chapter, followed by the realization that he would never get rid of them, now causing him to slowly turning more insane. Like he gave up. Good building up towards this!

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I like this chapter alot! I like the tons of references to other events (past and future). And that end of the test!  It is as horrific as unexpected, and I totally pictured it like a movie in my head. You really surprised me with this, and I'm curious how this thing will pack out. Well done!

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