The Universe... Is Big
Doctor Monty: Hello? (Tapping) Testing, testing, te- Do you hear me? Testing! Testing! T- Actually, I don't know why I'm doing all this. I'm almost one hundred percent certain that you CAN hear me. So let's not fanny about. Okay, where best to start? The universe... is big. Really big. So try to imagine the biggest thing that you can, and then imagine you're waaay off. It's a million, billion, trillion, eh... zillion? … times bigger than that. Actually, don't worry about the size, it's fucking huge. We'll just leave it at that. More important than its humongous proportions, is the fact that the universe is a living, breathing thing. Ever changing, ever shifting. Existing across and beyond time and space itself. With me so far?
A Metaphorical Hammer
Doctor Monty: Alright, so you’ve got this universe, this big, change-y, already volatile universe. And then you shatter it with a hammer. A metaphorical hammer. And it cracks and splinters into a million other universes. All coexisting at exactly the same time. (Sigh) Do you have any idea how difficult that is to keep track of? I may be omnipotent, but I can't be everywhere.
Everything Will Be Okay
Doctor Monty: Now, if it'd been entirely up to me, you numbskulls would be the last people I would entrust with this. But, due to factors outside my control, you're all I’ve got. I know there's a lot going on. I know it's a lot to take in. But the universe is deeply unstable right now. And things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. Crazy as things are, I will try my absolute best to give you all some one-on-one time. Some good old-fashioned TLC. Do this right, and everything will be okay. Pinky promise!
He Was The First
Doctor Monty: Maxis... He was the first. The vessel you constructed for him back in World War I somehow shielded him from the influence of Element 115. He opened the portal between the worlds and, well, that's where and when shit really went tits up. The world within the world got turned upside down and inside out, if you can imagine such a thing, so... Anyway, uh, it was around then that I was forced to... step in.
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
Doctor Monty: Samantha! Ohhhh boy! You ever heard the phrase, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Well, that fury is even worse with a little girl, especially one as confused as that poor child is. She really didn't get much of a chance, did she? Right out of the gate she was thrown into this madness before she could ever figure out exactly who she was. Still, that's all ancient history now. She's safe, in the house.
Doctor Monty: Okay. Here's a quick cheat sheet: You all fought in World War I, whoopee! You were badass heroes. That was true, that happened. Later, some other versions of you ended up as lab rats in some crazy World War II experiments. Experiments that left you a bit… kind of… not that smart. Your memories were mostly erased and you just kind of bumbled and stumbled around in time and space, oblivious to your past and future actions.
Doctor Monty: You know how people say that every snowflake is unique? That every single one is an individual, a one-of-a-kind, irrefutable evidence of the miracles of mother nature? Well, it's not true. Snowflakes aren't all that unique. There are really only about twelve different designs. The point I'm making is... that you lot are hardly one-of-a-kind snowflakes. You were fragmented across a multitude of different realities, but each and every one is basically the same. You are all... you. The liar, the braggart, the drunk: The one who didn't know what he had... until it was gone. The good soldier: Never disobeyed orders, never broke protocol, still kicked ass all the same. The loyal servant: A warrior out of time, born too late or born too early, honor-bound to dying traditions. The man-child: Broken and twisted by a life burdened with knowledge. Living like a soul who is perpetually drowning.
Doctor Monty: You need to stop thinking in terms of originals, old and new, it's not like that. When you look in the mirror, it's still you. If you crack that mirror you see multiple reflections, it doesn't mean you've actually multiplied does it? Honestly I'm not sure why I'm trying to explain it, shit's fucked up, please fix it.
Doctor Monty: You see the thing is, I meant to stay on the sidelines, not really supposed to get involved. Free-will and all that stuff. Oh, that was my idea, by the way. However, I do see stuff now and then that makes me go, "Wooo-ooh, that's not good! I really should do something!" But the thing is, all I can really do is give things a little nudge! Sow a seed, plant an idea, see what grows, see what sticks.
Magic Weapon Boxes
Doctor Monty: Where'd you think all these magic weapon boxes come from? The chalk drawings on the wall? The magic ammo drops? The gumball machines? Do I need to go on or do you get the message? I just hope you appreciate it.