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richlands24

Bullets, Blades, and Blood.

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It was 1945 and the Allies had won the war in the Eastern theater over the Germans and were now occupying Berlin. Five Marines were in a Nazi German lab searching for intel and were shocked to see that there were people that were laying on different platforms and others were locked in round, steel cages.

They looked around when one of the people got off of the bed and ran at Sgt. Bales, but the others gunned him down before he reached him. Sgt. Bales and the others walked over to the "person" and examined him up close. They saw that he smelled bad and had a viscous type of blood that wasn't normal at all.

"What the heck, what were the Germans doing to these people?" said Sgt. Ferris. "I don't got a clue, but whatever it was, it's not good" said Pvt. Lynch. Suddenly, 4 more of them got up off of their platforms and charged them. One of them ran into Cpl. Marsh, and knocked him off of his feet, and the "person" was getting ready to bite him when Sgt. Bales shot him and the "person" rolled off of Cpl. Marsh.

By then, the other "people" were dead. "I've got a name for them, zombies" Said Sgt. Donovan. "Sounds good" said Marsh. "We need to get out of here" said Bales. And off they went out of the lab so they could relay their findings to the division leader.

To be continued...

Hope it's good so far! My first time trying to write a story.I will continue with it if I get good reviews from it... Be gentle with me.

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I have some tips and stuff for you, nice piece of writing.

Ok, first off, you havesome good potential in there.

Second, in order to write a good story, you have to fix up some spelling, grammar, punctuation, the likes. Your's isn't bad, but perfect grammar and the likes makes the story even better and easier to read.

Third, try to serate it into parts rather than just a block of words. I made this particular error, it makes the story harder to read.

I hope this didn't come off as harsh or mean, but your writing will improve from it. :)

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I have some tips and stuff for you, nice piece of writing.

Ok, first off, you havesome good potential in there.

Second, in order to write a good story, you have to fix up some spelling, grammar, punctuation, the likes. Your's isn't bad, but perfect grammar and the likes makes the story even better and easier to read.

Third, try to serate it into parts rather than just a block of words. I made this particular error, it makes the story harder to read.

I hope this didn't come off as harsh or mean, but your writing will improve from it. :)

Oh it didn't come off as mean or anything. I'll take this into account and improve my stories and such from this. Thanks for the review!

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I thought it was really good and do hope you post more. I do however have some things that might need to be considerd if writing longer parts to the stoies. The first is what most horror writers use all the time and that is suspence, I myself have never quit got the hang of it but in a story like this it may be somethink to consider.

I really enjoyed it and really do hope you post the rest.

-Flareon

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I thought it was really good and do hope you post more. I do however have some things that might need to be considerd if writing longer parts to the stoies. The first is what most horror writers use all the time and that is suspence, I myself have never quit got the hang of it but in a story like this it may be somethink to consider.

I really enjoyed it and really do hope you post the rest.

-Flareon

I'll definitely consider it and thanks for the review!

As far as posting another story, I won't be able to post until (not this upcoming Sunday) Sunday of next week because I'm going to camp and will be without internet service during that time, but I will definitely think about this story while I'm down there so I can get it going as soon as I get back.

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