In the meantime here is a transcript I made of the opening cut-scene. Yeah its on youtube but this was fun to make and could be used for something I guess.
*Opens with black screen with George Romero voice-over*
George Romero: I’ve always liked the monster within idea. I like the zombies being us. Its like, zombies are the blue collar monsters.
*Lightning strikes behind the lighthouse, a zombie appears on screen*
*Cut to Trejo raising a machete wielding fist into the air against the background of the night sky with a lightning bolt*
*The machete drops and a head flies*
*We get our first look at Danny Trejo wielding akimbo machetes*
Danny Trejo: We’re completely surrounded!!
*Robert Englund runs into the scene with a pitchfork*
Robert Englund: We’re completely f@cked.
*Englund rams the pitchfork into a zombie’s gut*
*Pan out to Michael Rooker who has akimbo sawed-off double barrels*
*Rooker headshots a zombie with each of the shotguns*
Michael Rooker: Are you girls kiddin’ me?!? I’ve been praying for this sh1t! C’MON!!
*Behind Rooker Sarah Michelle Gellar kicks a zombie through a door to open it and struts out*
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Boys, lets get to work.
*Epic zombie slaying by Trejo and Englund*
*Rooker swings the butt of his shotgun at a zombie and misses*
Zombie Extra: For God’s sake he missed me AGAIN!
*The fighting stops and a movie clapper board covers the screen*
*Clapper board reads: Call of the Dead, Scene 07, Shot 15, Take 11, Director George A. Romero*
*We see the entire movie production and Romero walks up to Rooker*
George Romero: (exasperated sigh at Rooker) Cut! Are you blind man? Like this.
*Nails Englund in the face with the butt of the shotgun*
Robert Englund: OOOWWW. UGH.
George Romero: See?!
Danny Trejo: No, jefe. I do it like this!
*Trejo bops Englund on the head with the handle of his machete*
Robert Englund: O-Ugh! Danny!
Sarah Michelle Gellar: I do it like this.
*Gellar struts up to Englund and spin kicks him in the face and he goes flying back onto the ground*
*A zombie emerges from a window in the background*
George Romero (to zombie): Get back to hair and makeup. You don’t look dead enough.
Zombie Extra: C’mon lets go…
*Extra tries to lead zombie away but is flipped*
Zombie: ARRGGHHH. RAAAWRRR. AAAARGH.
*Zombie gives epic scream into camera and grabs Romero and runs off screen with him*
Michael Rooker: That ain’t in the script. *Flips shotgun barrels into position*
*Michael Rooker nameplate on a freeze frame*
Danny Trejo: We’re writin’ a new one. It’s called maggot-death MASSACRE!
*Double machete strikes into zombie) (Danny Trejo nameplate on a freeze frame*
Robert Englund: This is a real NIGHTMARE.
*Stabs zombie with pitchfork* *Robert Englund nameplate on freeze frame*
*Gellar jams a sickle into a zombie, proceeds to karate pose*
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Let’s slay some stiffs!
*Sarah Michelle Gellar nameplate on a freeze frame*
*Epic slaying of real zombies using melee weapons, akimbo double barrels, and karate skills*
*Rooker’s 5th shot from the shotguns blows the camera to black*